Story cover for It's Not DofE it's the Goddamn Army by CoffeeandYourTears
It's Not DofE it's the Goddamn Army
  • Reads 111
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
  • Reads 111
  • Votes 2
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Mar 01, 2015
My memoirs of Bronze DofE, but written as though it's an army training thing. Inspired by a comment from @captain-of-the-ships, my DofE buddy and tent partner about the playground looking like an army base with all the tents on it. Events are taken from reality, broadly speaking, and so is most of the dialogue, as best I can remember.

Title taken from Fall Out Boy's "It's not a scene it's a goddamn arms race"
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Can't Stand You by Ellebell26
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I closed my eyes tightly until I heard laughing. No, I could feel the laughing. My eyes sprang open to find Miles on top of me. I was laying flat on my back in the dirt with my glove with the ball inside pressed against his chest. Miles was not at all fat, but he was 6'2 compared to my barely 5'3. I could feel his chest rumbling and shaking with laughter as I lay humiliated on the ground. "I didn't know you liked being on the bottom," Miles said loudly. The whole field cracked up with that. I struggled under him and shoved him off of me. All of the guys were howling with laughter as I got up and swiped all the dirt off me. "Pervert," I muttered, before tossing the ball out of my glove to hit him in the thigh. I stalked across the field without another word. The whole team was in hysterics as I shoved all my things in my bag and practically ran off to get away. ... Gloria is like any other 17 year old girl getting ready for summer break, but this summer is going to be completely different. Gloria has been playing baseball since she could remember and has been invited to a national baseball camp. Being a girl in the world of a male-dominated sport, she couldn't even count how many times people have told her she needed to find something else to do. Her dad kept her playing though, even after he died a few years ago, that didn't stop Gloria from doing what she loved. The only problem is she is the only girl at the camp for three months. Enter the problem of suddenly having to share a room, more specifically, sharing with Miles Harris. Gloria must deal with Miles, a big shot and arrogant jerk, and all the other horny, testosterone driven baseball players, who just might push Gloria off the edge of sanity. Trigger warning: mention and vague description of SA
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Am I ever going to completely forget? Is he? Is true love forever? Is fate real? I'm still wondering. This story is inspired by true events.