Psycho Si-Co: Twelve Days

A lost and mentally disturbed girl tries to heal from abuse and find herself with a psychologist, bad decisions and her mothers wrong teachings on religion
" Dear God..."
I pause repeating the phrase for the upteenth time. I felt totally stupid sitting here staring at the serenity of the lake and talking aloud to God. Seriously it would be so much easier if there was a hologram of the guy appearing whenever we wanted to speak with ( more like speak to ) him.
I glanced down at the check list Daddy gave to me, all checked but one;
_Talk to Him_
The words taunted me and as the temperamental fuck I am I seethed,
" Oh I'll talk to him alright, Dear God, I really hope you're listening, I've had a lot of questions to ask you like for one why the fuck did you make me like this-I would say broken but Daddy doesn't like me referring to myself like that-why am I so different if you made us all in your single image, why did I get Cecile as a mother when people like Gladys exist,why are some born poor and others born rich,why are some people black and some white, why is there pain, why is there sadness, why is there death and loss, why is it that good things and people never last, why do people behave the way they do, you said we were created in your own image so why do we kill each other for money, why is greed in our nature, why isn't your love unconditional, infact, at this point,I'm convinced daddy loves me more than you do, he doesn't care if I've stolen, tricked or murdered, but you're ready to make me rot in hell for a little white lie, they say your love is pure but I think it's borderline obsessive seeing as you're ready to kill me eternally if I love any other God. Why didn't you bring my father back when I prayed and cried to you at your alter to bring him back but I guess you didn't think I deserved him. Why can't we see or at least hear you speak in your own voice, why do you make it so hard to believe in you (incomplete) I mean no disrespect.