The states! - Jim Gaffigan - Wattpad

The states!

Reads 5,745
Votes 61
Parts 28
Time 2h 5m

Reads 5,745
Votes 61
Parts 28
Time 2h 5m

Basically just Usa's States. Its uhhhhhhhh lil' skits. It DOES have some RusAme that Alaska did not sign up for. Annnd thats about it. I think I should rename this "America's Shits" or something like that

Haha, coming up with a better description. 
This has swearing (example: Alabama: Have you ever accidentally gotten into a relationship with your sister? Mississippi: bitch what), ships you probably won't like, also as I write this I slowly descend into insanity. IT'S VERY NOTICEABLE AND SOMETIMES I QUOTE THESE TO MY FRIENDS! (you should to 😉) Also there's Countries in this book. Like China, Russia, North Korea, Third Rice in the South Park bit and then (s)he never shows up again, UK, France.. I could go on and on, but it's only the countries Amurica (🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🚫💵🔫✅🗽🗽🗽) has interacted with. Also it has TONS of spelling mistakes and cringey 4 wall breaks. I might go back and fix my first 4 chapters. (PLEASE I BEG OF YOU START AT LIKE OOH YOURE IN TROUBLE FROM NEW MEXICO crap MAY NOT MAKE SENSE- BUT I LITERALLY CAN NOT HANDLE ANOTHER PERSON COMMENTING ON THE FIRST 4)

Now, onto the ranks


8 in Utah
10 in Alabama
9 in Alabama
5 in Alabama
2 in Idaho
282 in Australia
18 in amerus
437 in Australia
1 in New Mexico
1 in New Mexico (September 2023)
12 in Utah
7 in idaho
12 in Alaska
16 in Alaska
21 in Alabama
21 in Florida (October 2023)
22 in Ohio (August 2024)All Rights Reserved

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28 parts

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You've always been the one who stole my heart by italy_si

So, English is not my first language so I apologize for the grammatical errors. I will publish the same book in other languages so more people can actually read it. (But only if English readers like the book, otherwise I'll rewrite it only in Italian) ⚠️ATTENTION⚠️ This book contains/has suggestions of: Suicide/suicidal thoughts Self harm Abuse Rape Swear words Smut Fluff !SHIPS! RusAme GerIta SovietReich CanMex (Other little mentions of little ships)

Personified US States and Federal District by Leonidas13

So this was an idea I've had for a while now concerning the capital and states. I started out with Alaska, then moved to New York and it just snow balled from there. This book will start with Delaware, end with Hawaii and will put D.C. in middle with the rest of states from the 1700s. And if anybody wants to create fan art for them feel free to do it and if you want your art displayed here, I'll make a separate book just for the art. Please be mindful of the fact that these are my ideas on how they all look and act. Before anybody gets on me about Pennsylvania, I've read other stories where Penn is albino and can switch from acting like Prussia to Austria and back again with either a trigger word or song. I've done it so that even though Penn mainly acts like Austria, he will switch to Prussia if AND only when the family is being seriously threatened. The only countries who know about the capital and the states are as follows: 1. Russia, Ukraine, Belarus- reason is because of the purchase of Alaska back in 1867 and that New York decided to follow his grandma to meet this new potential sibling 2. Lithuania- we all know that he lived with Alfred for a time, so he one day literally ran into Alaska and from there meet the 50 of Alfred's children 3. Prussia- two words people VALLEY FORGE, it was not a good winter that year at all 4. Canada and Mexico- Mexico knew already because the states along the southern border are hers (yes, here Mexico is a girl named Esperanza) and Canada found out shortly after the war of 1812 Hope you all enjoy reading the book and as a pre warning, all and any flames will be used to roast marshmallows on bayonets (don't tell Gilbert about that last part) over backyard fire pits.

Countryhumans (GerPol) by Kitsunoli

This is a story that will mostly be centered around the human part of countryhumans, as you could already tell from the title. And I am "proud" to be able to present to you dear reader, this abomination of a kind. Of course with an extra package drama (just how you like it. ;) Am I right?) I also wanna give a few warnings before you start reading (Including a CRINGE- warning, for all of you who stumbled so far away from thier original track, they lost themselves so much they somehow landed here. My deepest apologies to all of you who now are stuck with part of thier memory being wasted on reading this, forced to live with it for all eternity.😬). For everyone else, who's grey brain matter has already been rotted over by shitposts and Countryhumans bullshits, here's the coup de grace you have all been waiting for (more or less). But before that, here are the Warnings⚠️: -There are gone be some sensitive topics, like:(generational-) Trauma; Mental-; Sexual-; Domestic- and physical violence; DID,PTSD(and other mental illnesses/disorders); Addictions ;Politics ; Philosophy; War and History; Discrimination ; different world views ; description of violence and injury and little smud. -The writing may have grammatical errors or/and be hard to understand at times. Since it's written in thirdperson some times, but in a way that it's personalized for different characters.(It's like the narrator switches personalities, depending on who he's talking about). -I also wanna make clear that this isn't gonna be the creme de la creme, since English isn't my first language and I am still 13. And also that of course I am not an expert in any topic so not everything is accurate especially not the political stuff. I also gave the countrys stuff/personality traits that aren't directly inspired by the fact that they are countrys. So don't take everything so seriously >:) . Now read my story! GOTT VERDAMMT!

Shattering Constellations | Countryhumans | COMPLETE! by Blisopoppy

I, America, live in a perfect world. No one disturbs me; they fear me. As a wise man had said, "isolation is the key to success." I believe it whole heartedly. Society is cruel. And to counter it, I must be independent, secretive, and alert. Welcome to my world as I start a new chapter in the 'perfect' school: UN high school. ✖️〰️✖️ Disclaimer: Not historically accurate 🚫 Grammar issues ☹️ Mature⚠️ Fiction😱 Human au🤖 No politics😀 Female America 🦅🦅🦅 🇺🇸 Bad world building 😬 If you get offended easily, don't read this🫠 Posting one chapter every week(either Saturday or Friday!) 🤓📖 ✨ships (not all)✨ Russia x America x China 🇺🇸🇷🇺🇨🇳 UkrainexCanada (more relevant)🇺🇦🇨🇦 GermanyxPoland (side)🇩🇪🇵🇱 JapanxSouthKorea (side)🇯🇵🇰🇷 >^< It's my first story! ✨ >з<❣️please give it some love! ✨ #1 Ukranada Nov 19 2023 #1 AmericaxChina Dec 11 2023 #1 Chimerica Jan 9 2024 #1 ukrainexcanada Jan 17 2024 #1 ukranada March 2 2024 #1 femaleamerica March 22 2024 #1 ruschi April 7 2024 #1 femamerica April 22 2024 #1 amechi April 23 2024 #38 countryhuman June 20 2024 #1 countryhuman June 22 2024 #1 americaxrussia July 19 2024 #1 femamerica February 3 2025

Fading | CountryHumans America (Old) by _Some_Person_2

This is my first story ever so please do not judge 😅 and sorry if is not that good The other countries have always believed America was always a happy, cheerful , annoying country, that isn't responsible enough to do any. But what they don't know about him is that he has 50+ kids to take care of. America acts as if he was always ok and acts as if nothings was wrong. One day America woke up, and saw that his colors of the flag on him were fading into darker colors. While his eyes were turning black. Of course America couldn't let the other countries see him like this, so he covered his flag up with some face paint that he found and just put on his usual sunglasses to cover his eyes. Besides that, his states have been more energetic then ever, things have been going quite crazy with them around the house... But during all these crazy events, not only have things been getting wild, something quite unusual happens.. But what will happen when a certain country finds out that America's flag is turning to darker colors and his eyes are fading to black? What will happen if they find out that America has children? (Art cover is mine, not the best) (Oml this is so cringe-)

Who Am I? {Countryhumans} [Sad RusAme Story] by mellonhead157

"Ame! Do you remember me?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's winter time, and Christmas is right around the corner. America and Russia have been growing closer, and everyone "totally ships it", but there is one country who doesn't have the "hots" for their relationship. As America is being blackmailed and "taught a lesson", she finds herself, lost, and far, far away from home. Is the town she runs away to safe? Are the other countries really who they say they are? Will she be able to ever go back home? Most importantly, let's hope she doesn't forget anything... ‼️Disclaimer: I have NOTHING AGAINST any of the countries in this story that may be portrayed as "evil". It is simply for the story.‼️ ⚠️Also mild language warning⚠️ Also the cover is by me soooo yah.

Pessimistic Coodies (RusAme) by Toddels

The tall tale of the later hardships faced by "the gifted child". As Russia ages, he finds his life dulling because he has nothing to live for. He had already succeeded in so much that his life loses purpose. One fateful day he unexpectedly befriends America who understands exactly how he is feeling. He persuades Russia to partake in deadly events with him to help him feel excitement again. Intelligently gifted depressed psychopaths should never become addicted to danger... or become besties. 🦠🦠🦠 America glances back over to me with a menacing grin plastered onto his face. He laughs and its echo haunts my ears. "I don't think I'm insane; surely my entire situation is understandable. If it weren't, I would've been put into that asylum when I was younger." I stare into his doe mismatched colored eyes. What the hell did I get myself into? "America, you are insane." I repeat. I was truly at a loss for words and had conflicting emotions. Crossing the street blindfolded was the last thing I had expected him to try. And yet, I was even more disturbed at how much I wanted to try it for myself... "And so are you, Russia." he says chillingly as if he had a key to my gated mind. "We are not so different and you know it. You are not normal; you revealed that to me in your past. Our horrible childhoods molded us into what we are today. " "I'm not fucking crazy." I tell him, "I find hobbies to feel alive- not to try to kill myself!" 🦠🦠🦠 **Not the story you will be expecting** ⚠️ Warning: This is a fictional novel, so please don't attempt or copy anything life threatening that these characters do, thanks TuT 💗 All art is mine :) 🫧 - Yes, there are many allusions to famous works of literature because I am an obsessed fanatic for them!! Also I included a shit ton of symbolism and foreshadowing. So be on the look out for everything! ✨ ;)

Countryhumans Headcanons (and other stuff) by chroma_tea

My first book! I hardly have any idea what I'm doing I only publish on Wattpad and AO3, if you see this on any other site then it has been stolen Content warnings for the book: -Ships (Only like 3 CH ones- maybe more? they're barely mentioned) -Historical topics such as WWI, WW2, and others will be mentioned -Swearing. A fair amount. -Third Roach and other controversial characters/countries -Descriptions of things like injury, or other events may be mentioned -Also may be some crossover headcanons or headcanons from other fandoms but the main focus is Countryhumans Other than that, please enjoy this stupid book with random headcanons!

The Life's Gambit|Rusame|Countryhumans by Orcaleee

"Oh hey! Who are you? Are you guys an audience of my everyday entertainment? Glad to be here, I'm your producer, ███." "Get on with the description, stop spewing nonsense." "Brother, am I supposed to?" "You are supposed to do that, yet you fail miserably." "Oh, I'll get on with it then." America, an ████████, who's on Earth goes back to the kingdoms. He meets Russia, the Northern prince or the ███████ on his first day and bonded with each other. Within a couple days of knowing each other, they realized their mutual goal to fight for justice and freedom and goes on a rampage to return the spots of monarchs back to their rightful people. And yet, after so long, they don't know much of each other. Russia, however, has another goal on his mind, given by me! Yours truly, ███! "Ok Mr. Producer, get a move on, there's more to do than this." "Come on, you know I don't get too many chances to do this." "Half the description is literally redacted. Plus, you get to do this like nineteen more times, don't be greedy." "It's not my fault the audience physically can't understand me!" "I'm ending this for you." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Very not historically and geographically correct I KNOW THE PACING IS TERRIBLE 🧍 THERE WILL BE RUSAME AT SOME POINT Very much inspired by rr and wwms This is like if rr and wwms had a child except the child is dumb

Spitfire (statehumans) by educateddummy

(Cover by hellllllnah) (TexasxCalifornia fanfic) California had a bad reputation as a dramatic bitch. Some said he was petty, hot-headed and a drama king. So when a night out at the bar turns into a one night stand with his best friend, his life immediately cascades into drama. He hears people call him a 'ho' 'slut' and 'prostitute' from behind his back, and his anxiety grows so bad it causes him to physically burn up. So what happens when someone unlikely helps him when he's in desperate need? Contains: - suggestive content - cursing - romantic interactions - no written smut, but a lotta making out - self harm - suicidal thoughts and actions - angst and pain - countryhumans - statehumans - loads of fluff

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Slide 1 of 10

You've always been the one who stole my heart cover

Personified US States and Federal District cover

Countryhumans (GerPol) cover

Shattering Constellations | Countryhumans | COMPLETE! cover

Fading | CountryHumans America (Old) cover

Who Am I? {Countryhumans} [Sad RusAme Story] cover

Pessimistic Coodies (RusAme) cover

Countryhumans Headcanons (and other stuff) cover

The Life's Gambit|Rusame|Countryhumans cover

Spitfire (statehumans) cover

You've always been the one who stole my heart

So, English is not my first language so I apologize for the grammatical errors. I will publish the same book in other languages so more people can actually read it. (But only if English readers like the book, otherwise I'll rewrite it only in Italian) ⚠️ATTENTION⚠️ This book contains/has suggestions of: Suicide/suicidal thoughts Self harm Abuse Rape Swear words Smut Fluff !SHIPS! RusAme GerIta SovietReich CanMex (Other little mentions of little ships)