The states! - Jim Gaffigan - Wattpad

The states!

Reads 5,634
Votes 61
Parts 28
Time 2h 5m

Reads 5,634
Votes 61
Parts 28
Time 2h 5m

Basically just Usa's States. Its uhhhhhhhh lil' skits. It DOES have some RusAme that Alaska did not sign up for. Annnd thats about it. I think I should rename this "America's Shits" or something like that

Haha, coming up with a better description. 
This has swearing (example: Alabama: Have you ever accidentally gotten into a relationship with your sister? Mississippi: bitch what), ships you probably won't like, also as I write this I slowly descend into insanity. IT'S VERY NOTICEABLE AND SOMETIMES I QUOTE THESE TO MY FRIENDS! (you should to 😉) Also there's Countries in this book. Like China, Russia, North Korea, Third Rice in the South Park bit and then (s)he never shows up again, UK, France.. I could go on and on, but it's only the countries Amurica (🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🚫💵🔫✅🗽🗽🗽) has interacted with. Also it has TONS of spelling mistakes and cringey 4 wall breaks. I might go back and fix my first 4 chapters. (PLEASE I BEG OF YOU START AT LIKE OOH YOURE IN TROUBLE FROM NEW MEXICO crap MAY NOT MAKE SENSE- BUT I LITERALLY CAN NOT HANDLE ANOTHER PERSON COMMENTING ON THE FIRST 4)

Now, onto the ranks


8 in Utah
10 in Alabama
9 in Alabama
5 in Alabama
2 in Idaho
282 in Australia
18 in amerus
437 in Australia
1 in New Mexico
1 in New Mexico (September 2023)
12 in Utah
7 in idaho
12 in Alaska
16 in Alaska
21 in Alabama
21 in Florida (October 2023)
22 in Ohio (August 2024)All Rights Reserved

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28 parts

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Countryhumans Oneshots [DISCONTINUED] by KiitaExists

🔞this book will (and does) contain a lot of smut!🔞 discontinued 😔 __ im going to hell, arent i? welp too late read the 1st chapter for rules on what certain emojis in chapter titles mean, what i will/wont write, what im working on writing, all that good stuff if you dont like this.. honestly reasonably so, have a nice day if you do like this... enjoye! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･~✧ start: february 13th, 2023 i thiiink end: december 25th 2023 100 reads ✅ february 27th, 2023 500 reads ✅ march 15th, 2023 1,000 reads ✅ march 25th, 2023 2,000 reads ✅ april 11th, 2023 5,000 reads ✅ june 11th, 2023 10,000 reads ✅ october 7th, 2023 15,000 reads ✅️ march 20th, 2024 20,000 reads (im reachin for the stars 😳) HIGH RANKINGS THAT IM PROUD OF (◔◡◔) #3 in #newzealand #61 in #australia #171 in #canada (why are all of these about the siblings lol) content warnings: smut strange topics. very, very strange topics bad writing (in my opinion :') ) degeneracy. im being serious shipping (obviously) possible insensitivity about serious topics its discontinued so no more requests or n e thing

Spread My Wings (countryhumans) by hellllllnah

*cringe alert: this was my first book. It is cringe* *seriously, don't read this* We all know America, the world superpower But what if, in a world full of magic, America had no power at all? In this world, everyone has an ability given to them at a certain age by their spirit guardian. However America, even well into his twenties, found himself powerless. America is desperate to find his superpower, because he is tired of people underestimating him. Germany is doing everything to research America's condition. After all, when you are locked up with no escape, what else can you do? Poland is training himself to perfection, so he will never let himself get hurt again. And somewhere, deep in the shadows, a demon craves revenge. (Also they live in a godlike world where people wear fancy clothes and the UN building is a palace. So, y'know, that's a fun vibe) WARNINGS: - this IS NOT, I repeat, IS NOT a RussiaxAmerica book - this is for entertainment only! This is not meant to offend! - controversial characters! - Profanity! - it's my first story and it's cringe #1 countryhumans 7/11 #8 America 8/31 #1 countryhumansamerica 1/1

Aftermath Plans || Amerus / Rusame by nobodiesafterdeath

"So what now, our alliance is over?" Russia licked his lips, his eyes were staring at just one point of the wooden desk. He could feel the other man's looks directed to his back, even though he didnt have any irises. Russia knew from experience at this point, how it felt to be watched. "You didn't help with any shit anyway." Russia said in a cold tone, his fingers reaching to grab the cold metallic pen laying close to tidied up documents. He heard America's breathy, hateful chuckle. "Then why-" "But no, it's not." Now he knew he got the other man's attention. He turned his head towards the black eyed man, who had stopped talking to listen to him now. "In fact." He continued. "-it just solidifies now." America hummed, sitting on the table. "Care to explain?" Russia stared at his starless nights with no emotion but plain hatred. "I want my father dead." He saw how wicked America's eyes shined with the declaration, but didn't comment on it. "And it will be quite hard without your help." /// 20.02.20 Slowburn Amerus/Rusame and even slowburner writer but i think i will finish this lmao THE STORY IS NOT EXACTLY HISTORICALLY ACCURATE. I tend to follow the key parts selected from Cold War but there are (mostly) things that made up or amplified to fit better in the story, so keep in mind! dedicated to @YoungerJustice who also drew the cover [ PLEASE READ ] I have Rusame in the title because thats the second ship name. If Russia not being the top is something that puts you off then i am sorry but this is not the book for you. This book will include heavy themes, i did not put +18 for nothing. If you hate it, don't waste your time leaving a hate comment. Just don't read it. I normally wouldn't even put this warning but better be safe than sorry! #1 amerus 23.10.21 #1 americaxrussia 23.10.21 #1 cold war 24.02.23 #1 countryhumansau 13.10.24 Thank you so much.

Spitfire (statehumans) by educateddummy

(Cover by hellllllnah) (TexasxCalifornia fanfic) California had a bad reputation as a dramatic bitch. Some said he was petty, hot-headed and a drama king. So when a night out at the bar turns into a one night stand with his best friend, his life immediately cascades into drama. He hears people call him a 'ho' 'slut' and 'prostitute' from behind his back, and his anxiety grows so bad it causes him to physically burn up. So what happens when someone unlikely helps him when he's in desperate need? Contains: - suggestive content - cursing - romantic interactions - no written smut, but a lotta making out - self harm - suicidal thoughts and actions - angst and pain - countryhumans - statehumans - loads of fluff

Countryhumans Headcanons (and other stuff) by chroma_tea

My first book! I hardly have any idea what I'm doing I only publish on Wattpad and AO3, if you see this on any other site then it has been stolen Content warnings for the book: -Ships (Only like 3 CH ones- maybe more? they're barely mentioned) -Historical topics such as WWI, WW2, and others will be mentioned -Swearing. A fair amount. -Third Roach and other controversial characters/countries -Descriptions of things like injury, or other events may be mentioned -Also may be some crossover headcanons or headcanons from other fandoms but the main focus is Countryhumans Other than that, please enjoy this stupid book with random headcanons!

{~-Heavenly Veil-~} Rusame Love Story by MasksOfALiar

The rise of embodied human countries walks the earth like man and rule with extraordinary power. Each unique in their own individuality. They rule as kings or queens- coexisting with mankind and modern society. No person can suppress their vast and bountiful knowledge, nor face head on against their power. Thus, this story speaks of something far greater than a human country... Russia of Tsarovia, a prince heir to the throne- is given a chance to see America, a crown prince to Albion Imperium. As a chance leads them into fates hands, trouble springs along with flames soon to ignite the night sky. How will their intertwine paths cross and unfold as they take the destiny of revolution? I will say this story is heavily inspired by many country-humans au's as well creators. I do suggest reading theirs, they are absolutely worth your time. Inspirations- @Miriorite can be found on wattpad @OnyxxCrow can be found on wattpad @NotDivinely Can be found on wattpad @Haunted_Alen can be found on YouTube Hope you can check them out, they're amazing people! THE COVER WAS MADE WITH HELP OF AI SO TECHNIALLY IT IS MINE???? I WILL LET YOU KNOW IF AN ART IS MINE OR NOT AT THE START!!

[OLD] Escaping the Friendzone (Various! Hetalia x Reader) by sleepinwitherensmom

(School AU) (Y/n) (L/n) is a very smart young lady. She always gets good marks on her quizzes and tests. She's nice to everyone and tries to stay positive around her peers/friends/family. However, behind closed doors she tends to break down. She has an older sister with mental health issues and an older brother whom she used to confide in but he moved away and barely visited and talked to his family. This only made the girl's life worse. Her childhood friend and neighbor, Gilbert stopped talking to her as much when he started middle school, but she still hung out with Ludwig. Her mother was always stressed between being a single mom and dealing with her sister. So the girl used her studies and books as an escape method from the real world. Of course she had some friends, but not many really GOOD friends. NOTE: The reader has Situational Depression DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia, the characters, art, or the au. I only own the plot and whatnot. And another issue is that there are a LOT of countries so I can't really do all of them, so the only characters falling for you will be: Francis Bonnefoy (France) Alfred F. Jones (America) Matthew Williams (Canada) Arthur Kirkland (England) Ludwig Beilschmidt (Germany) Gilbert Belischmidt (Prussia) Feliciano Vargas (Italy) Lovino Vargas (Romano) Antonio Fernandez Carriedo (Spain) Ivan Braginski (Russia) I suck at writing a fanfic with more than 10 characters involved unless I REALLY know ALL of the characters. Also I'm sorry I took out Japan and China. Before I started editing they got like zero attention and I felt bad Q_Q I hope you enjoy the story nonetheless and I thank you for taking your time reading this stupidly long description EDIT: If you want to see more interactions with a certain character (doesn't have to be ones you fall for) just let me know!

Tiny Texas Time! by hellllllnah

I keep having ideas and they're all about Texas because he's my favorite for no reason other than I just decided that he is Anyway this is more of just a smol thing for chuckles, each chapter will probably only be around 300 words or less, and it's just about Texas being America and Mexico's chaos child (Shh I know there's no reason for this to exist) (Edit: I'm from the future and I lied. This is not smol. It big)

The Runaway - CountryHumans - AU by YonderBlue

-IF THIS BOOK IS SEEN ON ANYWHERE BUT WATTPAD, IT HAS BEEN STOLEN- 13 Colonies (America) has a great connection with his father, England. But when a sweet child becomes a rebellious teen who feels no one listens to him or understands what he's going through. His father is stricter with America and forces him to stay in the house, while his best friend USSR is fading away. USSR and his eldest son Russia want to find a cure but have to go into unknown waters. America (Having a close friendship with USSR and still being a teenager) wants to come and help, maybe even have his own land. But he'll have to leave his only home he's ever known, his father, his mother, and baby brother Canada. Will America leave? Will USSR die? Will England allow it? Where will they go? Will Russia be able to live without his father? How long will they be gone? "Where are these nightmares coming from?" Someone said. Started: May 12, 2020 Finished: April 3, 2021

Countryhumans (GerPol) by Kitsunoli

This is a story that will mostly be centered around the human part of countryhumans, as you could already tell from the title. And I am "proud" to be able to present to you dear reader, this abomination of a kind. Of course with an extra package drama (just how you like it. ;) Am I right?) I also wanna give a few warnings before you start reading (Including a CRINGE- warning, for all of you who stumbled so far away from thier original track, they lost themselves so much they somehow landed here. My deepest apologies to all of you who now are stuck with part of thier memory being wasted on reading this, forced to live with it for all eternity.😬). For everyone else, who's grey brain matter has already been rotted over by shitposts and Countryhumans bullshits, here's the coup de grace you have all been waiting for (more or less). But before that, here are the Warnings⚠️: -There are gone be some sensitive topics, like:(generational-) Trauma; Mental-; Sexual-; Domestic- and physical violence; DID,PTSD(and other mental illnesses/disorders); Addictions ;Politics ; Philosophy; War and History; Discrimination ; different world views ; description of violence and injury and little smud. -The writing may have grammatical errors or/and be hard to understand at times. Since it's written in thirdperson some times, but in a way that it's personalized for different characters.(It's like the narrator switches personalities, depending on who he's talking about). -I also wanna make clear that this isn't gonna be the creme de la creme, since English isn't my first language and I am still 13. And also that of course I am not an expert in any topic so not everything is accurate especially not the political stuff. I also gave the countrys stuff/personality traits that aren't directly inspired by the fact that they are countrys. So don't take everything so seriously >:) . Now read my story! GOTT VERDAMMT!

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Slide 1 of 10

Countryhumans Oneshots [DISCONTINUED] cover

Spread My Wings (countryhumans) cover

Aftermath Plans || Amerus / Rusame cover

Spitfire (statehumans) cover

Countryhumans Headcanons (and other stuff) cover

{~-Heavenly Veil-~} Rusame Love Story cover

[OLD] Escaping the Friendzone (Various! Hetalia x Reader) cover

Tiny Texas Time! cover

The Runaway - CountryHumans - AU cover

Countryhumans (GerPol) cover

Countryhumans Oneshots [DISCONTINUED]

🔞this book will (and does) contain a lot of smut!🔞 discontinued 😔 __ im going to hell, arent i? welp too late read the 1st chapter for rules on what certain emojis in chapter titles mean, what i will/wont write, what im working on writing, all that good stuff if you dont like this.. honestly reasonably so, have a nice day if you do like this... enjoye! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･~✧ start: february 13th, 2023 i thiiink end: december 25th 2023 100 reads ✅ february 27th, 2023 500 reads ✅ march 15th, 2023 1,000 reads ✅ march 25th, 2023 2,000 reads ✅ april 11th, 2023 5,000 reads ✅ june 11th, 2023 10,000 reads ✅ october 7th, 2023 15,000 reads ✅️ march 20th, 2024 20,000 reads (im reachin for the stars 😳) HIGH RANKINGS THAT IM PROUD OF (◔◡◔) #3 in #newzealand #61 in #australia #171 in #canada (why are all of these about the siblings lol) content warnings: smut strange topics. very, very strange topics bad writing (in my opinion :') ) degeneracy. im being serious shipping (obviously) possible insensitivity about serious topics its discontinued so no more requests or n e thing