A Bit of Extra Fun

A Bit of Extra Fun

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WpMetadataReadConcluida mié, may 3, 202310m
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Generational trauma is the followed footsteps we can never break free from, no matter how hard we try to fight that inevitable fact. Growing up, we have said the words, "I do not want to become like my mother/father." Then one day, in a blink, we come to the realization not just how much we are like our parents, but that we are our parents. I sit across from my mother, that blink of realization only hours before. She's going on and on about lord knows what, and all I can try to do is to break those followed footsteps one last time, but like every other time I have tried, I will fail. When will the time come that I simply embrace the fact that I am now coming to accept.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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