A war between mind and heart

You see me as peace, but inside me there are endless wars. I know very well what it means to feel disappointed when things that you thought would not harm you hurt you. I know very well what it means to feel lonely when they tell you we are with you until the end.
But in the end, even their imagination does not exist. You remain like the miserable loner. A person dies while he is alive several times, he dies when his health fails him and when his loved ones abandon him. In my opinion, the most difficult stage a person goes through is the moment he begins to admonish himself.
For the kindness of his heart to sinful people, in the past it was easy to sleep, as soon as he heard a story or when the light went out, sleep came quickly, but now whenever darkness falls with its pitch blackness, he begins to think about his mission that kills the soul little by little.
Thinking candles remain burning until the morning, when you feel the accumulation in your heart, retire from people so as not to hurt them with words at the moment of your anger despite what they did to you, they also have hearts that feel them, but God is the one who fixes everything.
After all this overthinking, I got tired, got sick, I can't even stand it, my head hurts so much because of the damned thinking, my eyes hurt because of crying so much, My heart hurts because it was shattered and endured terrifying things،Is there anyone who hears the noise emanating from my heart? Or am I imagining..., that it has become like a city abandoned and betrayed by its inhabitants for a trivial reason, it has become like a butterfly whose wing is broken, trying to fly away from all this overwhelming chaos, but its wing is brheart
Its wing is broken with wounds that do not heal. This fracture has no cure. If it had a remedy, the butterfly would flutter here and there, but this fracture is very large, and it has different stories......