The Pessimal Refrain

Few people will remember the legacy of "Maanthaung," the "Fakabilly Swing" revolution, or the tiny tourist trap town of Weaver Bay. Few people will remember the exciting tale of adventures on the high seas, the significance of the abandoned Foto-Mat on the east side of town, or the massive importance that ski-ball hustling played in musical history. They won't remember because the all-powerful entertainment industry, and their minions, the music journalists, have trained them not to.

In the early 1980's an unlikely conglomerate of former "yacht pirates" shunned a respectable life of robbing tourists of their cassette collections and decided to become musical artists. In the process, they not only founded a rock subgenre out of a hodgepodge of 50's do-wop, 70's disco, smooth jazz, and Tuvaluan folk music, but also, through a series of unlikely coincidences, cracked the secret code of pop culture and nearly brought about the collapse of entertainment as we know it within a few short years. Now, decades later, one of the band's founders breaks his silence and tells the tale at last -- a story that will tear away the fabric of the Mandella Effect-style hold the music industry has on your memory, and, hopefully, finally set history right again.