Not me. (2023) - here. - Wattpad

Not me. (2023)

MineOnlyFriend2

Reads 1,760
Votes 124
Parts 91
Time 1h 13m

Reads 1,760
Votes 124
Parts 91
Time 1h 13m

MineOnlyFriend2

adhd angst darkthoughts depression disassociation eatingdisorders love maybejustalittlegay pain self selfharm selfhatred suicidalideas suicidalthoughts teen

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. 

This is for you. 


For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides.
For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly.
For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning.
For everyone who never could find the words to say why. 
For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much.
For everyone who had to pick themselves back up.
For everyone who had to parent themselves.
For everyone fighting an invisible battle.
For everyone who has been underestimated.
For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope.
For everyone who found other means to silence their voices.
For everyone who was silenced.
For everyone who was over powered.
For everyone who was made to be less.
For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent.
For everyone asking themselves, why?
Why would you do this?
What did I do?
Why is this happening to me?

It was never your fault.All Rights Reserved

adhd angst darkthoughts depression disassociation eatingdisorders love maybejustalittlegay pain self selfharm selfhatred suicidalideas suicidalthoughts teen

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91 parts

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Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) by xHeatLifex

They had both been dealt enough tragedy in their short teenaged lives, more than anyone should ever have to endure. Will two self destructive teens coming together do more harm than good? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't know what came over me. The poor guy just asked if he could help and I went all 'crazy psycho bitch' on his ass. I couldn't breath. I needed water. I needed air. Fuck why was is it so hot in here. Was it the fact that the moment his hand left my skin I felt an unbearable need to feel his touch again or was it hearing him ask if I needed help that made me feel helpless and broken once again. I didn't know what it was but I felt like I was suffocating, like the jersey I was wearing was strangling every ounce of oxygen from body. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * This story had been reviewed recently. There are now added scenes and further edits - 2024 *

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

I WILL NEVER FALL FOR YOU by yummylittlepeachbabe

My life has alway been surrounded by people that love each other but never around people who truly love me. Growing up the youngest boy of a family of 6 boys and a single mom hasn't been easy. My life hasn't always been picture perfect being the only brother with a different dad hasn't been easy. After all my brother fathers died my mom was destroyed and met my dad she had me and they broke up. My dad lives in london and my mom lives in america so for a big part of my life I lived with my dad but when I started high school I moved to live with my mom for a better life and that's when I joined this chaotic family as an outsider and a foreigner. Keeping to myself I got close to my brothers but never close enough. Being an outcast is all I ever will be a broody outcast the quiet pothead that you should stay away from and that one brother whos always lonely and by himself. All my brothers have girlfriends and my ma has my step dad and I have no one and that's fine because I don't believe in love and when they all get their heartbroken they can't blame anyone but themselves. Moving to a new city has never been easy for me. My dads in the army so it's just me and mom moving from new York to California isn't gonna be easy moving to a new high school is never a good idea but if it means a fresh start from my past I'll do anything to run away from it.

In The Dark by Brooklyngirl1026

People always say, 'There's no reason to be depressed.' or 'what do you have to be depressed about.' alot of the times its, 'you seem fine to me.' yes, I do seem fine, but I'm breaking underneath the surface. They don't see behind the mask we all hold up. 'Everyone gets these feelings.' yes they do, but some are worse than others, yet its pain nonetheless. They don't understand what goes through our minds when we do things they think is crazy, like cutting. They don't understand that when we look in a mirror, we hate what we see. Or when you cry yourself to sleep at night for reasons that are still unknown to you. Those feelings of sadness, loneliness, desperation, anxiety. Those fears of being abandoned by the ones you love the most, or being a burden because you're sharing your feelings. They don't understand..... But I do. This book is for all those people that feel even one of these. You are not alone. *TRIGGER WARNINGS*

Second Love by JL_Huxley

I'm cold. I'm alone. I'm not angry... at least not anymore. But here I sit. Alone. And Numb. You think on a Friday morning I would be at the office busy with phone calls, returning emails, meeting with clients, and proving to my boss time and time again that I'm his girl to get shit done...to close the deal like I've done so many other times. But after a year of completely throwing myself in my work, sleeping at the office because I refuse to go back to my apartment and using the typical excuse that I stayed late to work on a project, and becoming emotionless to everything and everyone around me, my boss has had enough. "Hannah, you need a vacation. And it's not negotiable."

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Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Just Stay by LexiRein

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Outcast ✔️ by justanathergirl3

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Love In Boxing Ring by 1410pooja

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Slide 1 of 10

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

I WILL NEVER FALL FOR YOU cover

In The Dark cover

Second Love cover

Cold Water cover

Just Stay cover

Outcast ✔️ cover

Love In Boxing Ring cover

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE)

They had both been dealt enough tragedy in their short teenaged lives, more than anyone should ever have to endure. Will two self destructive teens coming together do more harm than good? ~ I don't know what came over me. The poor guy just asked if he could help and I went all 'crazy psycho bitch' on his ass. I couldn't breath. I needed water. I needed air. Fuck why was is it so hot in here. Was it the fact that the moment his hand left my skin I felt an unbearable need to feel his touch again or was it hearing him ask if I needed help that made me feel helpless and broken once again. I didn't know what it was but I felt like I was suffocating, like the jersey I was wearing was strangling every ounce of oxygen from body. ~ * This story had been reviewed recently. There are now added scenes and further edits - 2024 *