Not me. (2023)
- LECTURAS 2,071
- Votos 125
- Partes 91
Concluida lun, dic 18, 20231h 13m
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here.
This is for you.
For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides.
For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly.
For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning.
For everyone who never could find the words to say why.
For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much.
For everyone who had to pick themselves back up.
For everyone who had to parent themselves.
For everyone fighting an invisible battle.
For everyone who has been underestimated.
For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope.
For everyone who found other means to silence their voices.
For everyone who was silenced.
For everyone who was over powered.
For everyone who was made to be less.
For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent.
For everyone asking themselves, why?
Why would you do this?
What did I do?
Why is this happening to me?
It was never your fault.
Todos los derechos reservados
#725
darkthoughts
Únete a la comunidad narrativa más grandeObtén recomendaciones personalizadas de historias, guarda tus favoritas en tu biblioteca, y comenta y vota para hacer crecer tu comunidad.
Quizás también te guste
Enchanted Love: The PAST-The PRESENT
~TOUCH HER AND SHE'LL KILL YOU~ They say the worst pain is losing someone. They're wrong. The real pain is knowing everything - every lie in a smile, every betrayal wrapped in love, every truth people try to bury. I see it all. I understand everyone... except myself. People look at me and see elegance, confidence, sharp intelligence. What they don't see is the silence I live in - a silence so loud it drowns my heartbeat. I used to think someone might come for me one day. Someone who wouldn't fear my mind or my power. Someone who would stay. But that kind of hope died when my parents did. Now I exist for one thing - revenge. No love. No attachments. No weakness. I don't need anyone. At least, that's the story I tell myself. - RAVEN ~~~ People fear heartbreak, betrayal, death. But you know what I fear? A life with no direction - drifting in an endless sea where strength means nothing. Everyone believes I'm the strongest man alive. The truth? Even mountains crumble if they stand alone too long. I've won wars, built empires, crushed enemies. But none of it fills the emptiness gnawing inside me. I move. I breathe. I survive. But I don't live. Some nights, I think what I really need isn't power... but a reason. A gravity strong enough to pull me out of the ocean I'm sinking in. A person who sees me - not the monster the world bows to. Until then, I drift. Silent, controlled, starving for something I'll never admit I want. - ARES
when you need me most
When you need me most, that's when I walk away. I've spent years with him-giving, pretending, sacrificing-but I've never really felt the way I thought I would. And still, I've never fully walked away. Each day feels heavier than the last, a quiet ache gnawing at me, reminding me that the person I'm losing isn't him... it's myself. People see us together and think it's enough. They see the smiles, the routines, the quiet mornings, the coffee he always makes, and they assume our love is perfect. They do not know the nights I lie awake, questioning if staying is worth the cost, or if leaving will destroy everything I've built inside myself. They do not know the small, invisible ways I've been disappearing-slowly, quietly, while he keeps holding on, unaware of how fragile I feel. It isn't that I don't care for him. He's kind, patient, and loving in ways that make me ache. But sometimes love isn't enough when it takes more than you can give-and when the person you're with doesn't meet you where you need them most. Between guilt, obligation, and the pull of familiarity, I've lost sight of myself, and I can't tell if I'm holding on to him... or just holding myself back. And now, when life throws new challenges his way, I have to face a question I've avoided for far too long: do I continue to sacrifice myself for a love that demands everything and gives only uncertainty? Or do I finally choose me-even if it means letting go?
The Best Kept Secret!
They say what's in the past keep it in the past but I wanted to know all about my past. It was things that I didn't know and that I wanted and needed to know! But my life turned upside down when my past is exactly what I should have left alone. Now if you ask me how it all began, I don't exactly remember but I know it started when I moved in with my grandma who I haven't met in all my twenty years of living. I have been in and out of foster homes since I can remember, living with families I knew nothing about. Being the outcast and them constantly asking me what's wrong because I simply did not speak. The only thing that kept me sane was my good grades throughout school. I got the satisfaction of doing the one thing that people kept telling me over and over I couldn't do. I stayed to myself and graduated high school with honors, getting a full-ride scholarship to any college of my choice. Of course, by having this accomplishment, it didn't make it any easier for me between my foster families. To them, I became the girl who was better than them. But I didn't care because when I turned twenty I finally got to start making my own choices. This is where I wonder if the first choice I made was the right one. The first choice I made was to go live off-campus with my grandmother during my first semester in college. I ask myself how could I be so stupid? But you will see just how stupid I was. Or was I?Concluida
Red As Snow...(BWAM, Yakuza Romance, 18+)
"Growing up, my mother always told me one thing; bad company corrupted good morals. I didn't believe her, didn't believe those words she'd always said to me with such conviction. I'd always thought myself strong, always thought myself good enough to corrupt those bad morals. That was until I crossed paths with a man so lethal, a man so utterly consumed with darkness. And gradually, his words of poison would lace my system, dilute my sanity and leave me begging at his feet for more..." It was hate at first sight... I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE IMAGES USED IN THIS BOOK. ALL CONTENT WITHIN THIS BOOK IS FICTIONAL AND WORKS OF MY IMAGINATION. ANY SIMILARITIES TO REAL-LIFE EVENTS, PLACES, PEOPLE etc IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. MY BOOK IS NOT FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. COPYRIGHT ©️ 2023 by Rachael Abeauty! THIS BOOK CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT; DARK ROMANCE, SEXUAL SCENES, STRONG LANGUAGE, SELF-HARM, etc. BOOK COVER MADE BY ME, THE AUTHOR.Concluida
Nobody's girl
Iris is seventeen. She's quiet, she's tired, and she's used to being invisible. At school, the bullying never stops. At home, her mother barely notices she exists-unless it's to criticize her. There's no one to lean on, no safe place to land. And the pain she carries? It's not just in her mind. It's carved into her skin, buried under skipped meals, and hidden behind fake smiles. Every day, Iris wonders how much longer she can keep going. Then he shows up. Loud. Reckless. The kind of boy who doesn't care what anyone thinks. He's everything she isn't until, somehow, he notices her. Really sees her. But when your whole world has taught you you're nothing, what do you do with someone who suddenly wants to know everything?
INNER DEMONS
They say life is full of surprises - but they never said some of them would break you beyond recognition. I wake up every day carrying a weight no one else can see. I laugh. I smile. I play the part. But deep inside, I'm unraveling - quietly, painfully. No one notices the war behind my eyes. The kind of pain that doesn't scream, it lingers - slow, quiet, deadly. I've forgotten what peace feels like. I only know how to survive... not live. "I'm okay." It's the lie I tell, because it's easier than explaining the emptiness. My inner demons whisper that I'm not enough. That I'll never be. And sometimes... I believe them. Sometimes, I feel like I'm already gone. But even in the darkness - even when I'm on the edge - there's still a voice, quiet and trembling, that says: "Hold on." This is a story for those who suffer in silence. For the ones fighting battles no one can see. For the broken, the tired, the ones still breathing - even when it hurts. You're not alone. And maybe... that's where hope begins.
A Garden of Dead Things
This book is my life laid bare - a story of pain, loneliness, and mental chaos that most people don't see. It's about the slow, unbearable unravelling of a mind caught in the grips of depression, anxiety, trauma, and heartbreak. There's no sugarcoating here. No fairy tales or hopeful endings. This is a glimpse into what it feels like to be completely lost inside yourself, where every day is a battle to hold on, even when you don't know what you're holding onto anymore. I write about the nights filled with overwhelming silence that screams louder than any words. About the weight of memories and pain so heavy it crushes the light out of your life. This story doesn't shy away from the darkest parts: the thoughts that haunt you, the self-hate that grows quietly, the invisible scars left by emotional abuse and trauma. It's about fighting to survive when it feels like there's nothing left inside you but broken pieces. But more than that, it's about the truth of living with a mind that doesn't always want to be healed, a heart that keeps breaking even when you try to protect it, and a soul that longs for peace but only finds pain. I'm not telling this story for sympathy or comfort. I'm telling it because this is real. Because sometimes, the only way to breathe is to say out loud what hurts the most. If you're tired of pretending everything's okay, if you've ever felt like no one truly understands the storm inside your head, then this book is for you. It's not easy to read - but it's real, and it's mine. Welcome to my garden of dead things.
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionConcluida
~TOUCH HER AND SHE'LL KILL YOU~ They say the worst pain is losing someone. They're wrong. The real pain is knowing everything - every lie in a smile, every betrayal wrapped in love, every truth people try to bury. I see it all. I understand everyone... except myself. People look at me and see elegance, confidence, sharp intelligence. What they don't see is the silence I live in - a silence so loud it drowns my heartbeat. I used to think someone might come for me one day. Someone who wouldn't fear my mind or my power. Someone who would stay. But that kind of hope died when my parents did. Now I exist for one thing - revenge. No love. No attachments. No weakness. I don't need anyone. At least, that's the story I tell myself. - RAVEN ~~~ People fear heartbreak, betrayal, death. But you know what I fear? A life with no direction - drifting in an endless sea where strength means nothing. Everyone believes I'm the strongest man alive. The truth? Even mountains crumble if they stand alone too long. I've won wars, built empires, crushed enemies. But none of it fills the emptiness gnawing inside me. I move. I breathe. I survive. But I don't live. Some nights, I think what I really need isn't power... but a reason. A gravity strong enough to pull me out of the ocean I'm sinking in. A person who sees me - not the monster the world bows to. Until then, I drift. Silent, controlled, starving for something I'll never admit I want. - ARES
Más detallesPautas de Contenido