The Winning Shot

I was young, naive, and weak, when my whole world collapsed. Now, I'm still young, but I know better. Better than to put my guard down. Better than to blindly believe those who promise, they won't hurt me. Better than to think someone would show some genuine interest in who I am instead of just taking advantage of me. Better than to trust anyone with my heart and body ever again. I spent years crawling up from the rock bottom, just now starting to see the light. Joining my college lacrosse team is a chance for happiness, but also a risk, I'm petrified to take. How am I supposed to look at my teammates and not see his face? How am I supposed to pretend I'm not on the verge of a panic attack, every time I step into the locker room? And how am I supposed to tell someone, that they only waste their time on me because I might as well be considered a lost cause?