When Lions And Snakes Play Together: A Cautionary (But Funny)Tale - quillmistress - Wattpad

When Lions And Snakes Play Together: A Cautionary (But Funny)Tale

Reads 1,525
Votes 130
Parts 22
Time 2h 21m

Reads 1,525
Votes 130
Parts 22
Time 2h 21m

Mature

alcohol bachelor bachelorette blinny drugs druna elopement funny harryxpansy harryxron hookups lasvegas lgbtlove padmaxmillicent pregnancy snamione someboyxboy thehangover wedding

As you might have guessed from the title, this story may very be terrible, or terribly brilliant. Who knows? Anyhow, this is the Harry Potter universe version of The Hangover, and we'll see what happens when Gryffindor and Slytherins stop being asses to each other for one bachelor(Ette) party, and see if being on good terms is such a good idea after all...

Hermione is about to get married after the wizarding war ends, and despite her reservations, her girls urge her to go on an impromptu trip to Las Vegas. Only problem is is that now that school House relations between the lions and snakes are so good, Pansy Parkinson and her clique insist on tagging along after becoming friends with her clique. 

On the guy's side of things, Draco and Harry are bffs, and Ron is jealous of what they have. They book a trip to Vegas on Draco's dad's money, and King Ferret and The Dungeon Bat tag along because King Ferret wants the Bat to loosen up. Snape insists it's a bad idea, but goes along anyway to keep his cousin out of more mischief. 

What will our crews get up to when sobriety flies out the window for an evening, and no one can remember how the hotel villa got so trashed, or why a wand is in a stripper's you know what.

Rated M for adult language, drinking, smoking stuff, sex, and questionable hookups that lead to putting rings on fingers in some cases. Please vote, comment, and tell me what you guys think! Love you all, thanks a bunch in advance...All Rights Reserved

alcohol bachelor bachelorette blinny drugs druna elopement funny harryxpansy harryxron hookups lasvegas lgbtlove padmaxmillicent pregnancy snamione someboyxboy thehangover wedding

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22 parts

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I've Loved You For A While (Dramione + Blinny) by DeathEater72806

Shes liked him since fifth year, but he's liked her since first. Who knows what will happen if the two go together, The Slytherin Prince + The Gryfindor Princess. How will this plan out. With stupid exes and best friends making out and family heritage. What if there is a magical bond between two and one could die if rejected. What will happen when her father gives her a deal she Just couldn't reject. When she agrees and decides for the 'best'. What will her friends think. This is a very confusing story ♥️ it was my first and not very good. Please refrain from saying how horrible it is, I know it's bad. My other stories are a little better, they definitely beat this one. I'm sorry for how confusing it is, but please, enjoy!

The Boy I Love by SweetPea607

"Umm I-I was uhh j-just leaving" I stuttered. {why am I having trouble speaking? especially to Malfoy!} He looks me up and down and I some how feel even smaller. He then looks directly in my eyes with a smile. "What are you doing here Potter? Don't you know it can be dangerous down here? Especially for a Gryffindor" I don't know why but I'm at a loss for words. I've never felt this way with him before. The tone of his voice, the sly smile on his face, and the way he's pining my body. It's just all so...... ------------------------- Everyone has to come back to Hogwarts to repeat the year because of the war. Harry wants a relationship, but can't find anyone that is gay and won't use him for his fame. Draco has had his eyes set on Harry for years, but thinks he's straight. What happens when Draco over hears that Harry IS gay and thinks Draco is cute? I know it's a horrible description but the story is good I promise. Set after the war and everyone is still alive...except Harry's parents and Voldemort (obviously) and it's going to be based like the movies with a few hints to the books. It's easier to spin things the way I want them like this. LOVEEEE comments. also not my cover art ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Adult content (aka SMUT😈) Strong language _____________ DISCONTINUED _____________ #1 bottomharry 11/16/21 #1 topdraco 11/16/21 #126 drarry 9/4/23 #165 harrypotter 8/23/22

And You're My Ever After (Larry Stylinson Au) by _SweetDisposition_

READ! Because some of you still don't get this book contains male pregnancy. BEFORE YOU START READING. THIS IS MPREG! THAT IS YOUR WARNING SO YOU ARE NOT COMMENTING ABOUT IT LATER OR TELLING ME THINGS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT. I KNOW, BUT IT'S FICTION. "You're so cute when you laugh!" Louis threw his hands up into the air then continued laughing feeling Harry's shaky head on his shoulder. "And you're cute too...if I could and if I wanted to I would marry you." Harry looked up giving him a lazy smile. "You're not husband material." Louis hiccuped then laughed when Harry pouted. "And I'm proud of it." Was all Harry said before drinking his tequila shot. "You're the kind of person I'll never have sex with." Louis stated looking back at Harry who had a horrified expression on his face. "I wouldn't sleep with you either." He said then burst out laughing. [Harry and Louis are two strangers visiting Vegas. Harry just wants to have fun and Louis just wants to get over the cheating bastard of his ex fiance. They accidentally get married.] ~*~*~*~ This is my new chaptered fic loosely based on the Ashton Kutcher movie What Happens In Vegas, I added my own twists and the plot is different than the movie. I'll update every week depending if I finish the chapter. :) WARNINGS: drunk marriage, Drunk Sex, Drunk Louis, Drunk Harry, Smut, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Cheating, Fake Marriage, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Bottom Louis, Top Harry, bottom!Louis, top!Harry, Strangers to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Little bit of angst, Fluff

Disowned (Drarry/Pansmione) by Dance_Addict_19

Book One, but can be read as a stand alone Draco Malfoy had everything. The money, the name, any toys or clothes he wanted. Sure his parents were a little cold, but they were preparing him to be the next steel-faced Malfoy heir. When he is eleven he is sent off to Hogwarts. His parents have told him all about the wonders of Slytherin house, and how everyone for generations (except the Black defect - they don't mention him much) has been in that house. Draco is really excited to carry on that line. But then everything goes wrong. Pansy Parkinson had her life all planned out. Go to school, graduate, marry Draco, have children, be rich and fabulous, die a pureblood legend. She liked her future life. It seemed so simple, especially since she and Draco got along so well. Plus, he spoke French. She was debating asking him to move to France when they got married. Of course, then everything had to go wrong. Now, Pansy has to figure out how to tell a certain someone how they're going to die. And the girl's not even pretty!

Just Friends by Vanilla_Milquetoast

Theodore Nott is a quiet and reserved boy that usually can be seen alone in a corner with a book in his hand. Draco Malfoy, the arrogant, narcissist and boisterous boy who can always be seen walking around with a smug look on his face with his cronies tailing behind him. These two opposites just happen to be roommates in their school. Ever since then, Draco has relentlessly teased and made fun of Theo whenever he has the chance. It gives him great pleasure when he is able to wind Theo up and disturbs his peace, although he himself does not comprehend why he likes to annoy Theo so much. But one night, all of that changed and their dynamic has never been the same again. That night, Draco pushed too far and got a taste of his own medicine. Draco learns a whole new side of Theo since that night. Theo; the quiet bookworm who is always alone has a darker side and is actually a total fuckboy. He keeps his flings clean with no strings attached and on the lowkey. Not many people know this about him, except for the ones who had experienced it for themselves. As their relationship advances, Draco goes through a roller coaster of emotions as he tries to suppress his growing attraction towards Theo and contemplates his relationship with his current girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson. Are they just friends? Or is there more?

Best of Friends by sellaturcica

""Kitten, you're worried about something, and you cannae lie. You're picking at your hands and looking around to clean up my room. Unlucky for you, my room is very clean," he said, "Now what are you worrying about so much?" I stopped picking at my cuticles. It was kind of weird that he could see me doing something and read me like a book before I could even realize I was doing it. I felt my heart pound in my chest. "Well, it's just this whole pretending to date you thing," I shrugged, "How far do we have to take it? Do we have to do it in front of our friends? Do we have to do it in public because obviously we ran into Olivia today and we weren't planning on it. Oh shit, what if she sees you with another girl? I mean, what would happen then? What if she sees me talking to another guy? How long is this going to go on? What if we have to kiss in front of Olivia? I mean, it's not that I don't want to kiss you but--" I rambled on nervously. Iain smirked and walked towards me, and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, and we were kissing." When Kit's older brother, Ben, finally makes it with the girl he's been crushing on for four years, only to find out she's wary of family, he lies and calls his baby sister his best friend's girlfriend, turning everyone's life upside down. While Kit's struggling with the impending doom of college and parents that could divorce at any second, she's also juggling a fake relationship with her brother's hot best friend, Iain. As if that weren't complicated enough, a chemistry sparks between Iain, igniting flames and destroying the crumbling world around them. RATED M for drug and alcohol use and sexual themes

Love hurts - Drarry by gazingnightsinlove

"Ugh.." Harry groaned. "What happened?" Draco asked "I-... I really want you to fuck me..." Harry said, looking fraught into Draco's eyes. After a few seconds Draco answered as his head started to get filled with fanaticises, heart with desire and eyes with lust, "I know... believe me when I say this pottah, I want me to fuck you too." Draco and Harry have found themselves in this current predicament After a potion-gone-wrong-insident, where Draco and Harry have a arrangement. Never expect more than sex for this month and don't expect a future. Harry is a sex toy, a salvation, a thing Draco is using because he can't seem to forget what he had. Or so he thinks. After many situations, it's at the breaking point when Harry understands why Draco didn't like the idea of love. It's was because Promises get broken Hearts get infiltrated Love gets ugly And above all, it hurts. Love hurts x Caution x This story comes off kinda toxic so it may seem to you that it isn't for you, but please trust me, the story ain't what if seems, read it will the 9th chapter. It may seem too intence for you, but it will change. Trust me. And please read it. Trigger warnings! Eating disorder Sexual scenes Lgbtq reference Self hate Fuck buddy

One Night - Drarry by gazingnightsinlove

Harry gets caught in a attempt of suicide with the last person he expected to see in the Room of Requirements after the fire incident. Draco Malfoy. "I'm a mess." Draco said "I think that we're both a mess." Harry replied and looked into the beautiful set of eyes. smut central and a LOT of sad emotions, if you feel like crying or something. I think ima add some fluff too. Read to find out more ;) NEITHER HARRY NOR DRACO WILL DIE IN THIS STORY! (I hate stories where they kill off one of the main characters.) 6 are there with more than 1300 words (each) PS, I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHRACTERS AND THE COVER ART. I ALSO SUCK AT Synopsis LOL ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ *eating disorder *abuse of all kinds *colourful language usage *Self harm *depression *smut *LGBTQ+ community based((so homophobics please stay away, i hate people who use words like fag and shit, DONT YOU DARE READ THIS , i love and live by LGBTQ and i won't let anyone harm this beautiful society! )) ALSOO, i am not very good with spellings of certain magical things that i WILL FIX but please bear with me .

Malfoys Pleasure by Lace710

"Still shaking over me, wait till i put my dick in you." Y/N and Draco Malfoy ~ *+SMUT+* *+ OVER 15+* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHARACTERS: : Y/N, Y/L/N : Draco Malfoy : Hermione Granger : Mattheo Riddle : Blaise Zabini : Lorenzo Berkshire : Harry Potter : Ron Weasley : Pansy Parkinson : Professors(all) Y/N is on her fifth year of Hogwarts, You and Draco had been enemies since the first year, You are Gryffindor and he is in Slytherin. You never paid attention to each other until this year. Y/N BACKSTORY*** You never knew your parents you normally stayed with your Godfather/Godmother. Your parents best friends before they disappeared. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THIS STORY IS COMPLETED! {I ALSO MAKE EDITS AND SLYTHERIN BOYS REACT ON TIK TOK ^^^} SOCIALS\\ TIK TOK:IJSEDITL INSTAGRAM:IJSEDITL

Are you falling in love? | Mattheo Riddle by o431716499

A new student joins Hogwarts. Guess who it is? Mattheo Marvlo fucking Riddle. Tom Riddles brother. Y/n immediately envies Mattheo and he does the same. For what reason? No one knows. Mattheo joins your friend group of Theodore Nott, Lorenzo Berkshire, Pansy Parkinson (your best friend), Daphne Greengrass (your other best friend), Draco Malfoy (your brother), Y/N Malfoy (you), Blaise Zabini and Tom Riddle. Slowly overtime Mattheo and Y/n develop a thing for each other. An enemies to lovers story. Are they falling in love?

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Slide 1 of 10

I've Loved You For A While (Dramione + Blinny) cover

The Boy I Love cover

And You're My Ever After (Larry Stylinson Au) cover

Disowned (Drarry/Pansmione) cover

Just Friends cover

Best of Friends cover

Love hurts - Drarry cover

One Night - Drarry cover

Malfoys Pleasure cover

Are you falling in love? | Mattheo Riddle cover

I've Loved You For A While (Dramione + Blinny)

Shes liked him since fifth year, but he's liked her since first. Who knows what will happen if the two go together, The Slytherin Prince + The Gryfindor Princess. How will this plan out. With stupid exes and best friends making out and family heritage. What if there is a magical bond between two and one could die if rejected. What will happen when her father gives her a deal she Just couldn't reject. When she agrees and decides for the 'best'. What will her friends think. This is a very confusing story ♥️ it was my first and not very good. Please refrain from saying how horrible it is, I know it's bad. My other stories are a little better, they definitely beat this one. I'm sorry for how confusing it is, but please, enjoy!