Drowning

I would lay my back to my bed with the delicate sheet over my long brown legs. My head would touch the soft pillow and my eyes would stay fixed on the ceiling. The quiet surroundings would allow my thoughts too drown me from my own will. I would think about my future, the way my bodies set up or the way my hair is too short.

I would think about the way that I'm not as pretty as the girls I see on the streets. The girls with golden long hair and their perfect bodies. Tears would slip out and I would curse myself for being so ugly or just not enough. I would curse for the unwanted stretch marks at the side my hips or the ones on my lower buttocks.

I would curse myself for the excessive blemishes and the black spots surrounding my brown face. I would mostly curse myself for being the person I don't want to be anymore. All these thoughts would drown me into a dark place, a place where I try so hard not to be. I'm slowly drifting or maybe I just need a little push...

@chainss