Loving someone you cant have

I have liked him since summer of 2017.

The guy is a family friend.

I knew him and talked to him before. But for the first time ever i met him irl in pakistan where both of our families were for vacation.

It's never been the same since.

I lived in Belgium at that time. And him US. in march of 2019 i moved to the uk. He is still in the US.

He been on my mind since 2017. Me and him have each other added on snap and insta. We talk sometimes. But not much since he always is busy and the time gap is alot.

I cannot have him because we are "cousins" (we arent but our families so close and we grew up calling each other cousins)
He still calls me cuzzo as a nickname here and there.

This isnt a story. This is real life. And i'm writing this because i need to get over him. I will write updates whenever something happens between us and hopefully one day i can look back at this and take a breath of relief as my heart has finally let go of something that cannot be.