Appetizer ( wattpadprize14 )
I’m not a fighter in the traditional sense. I will suffer first, and sort out the pain later. But I don’t give up.
I grew up in a bubble of privilege, while all I’ve ever wanted to do was live underground.
Everything started early. The name-calling pushed me into becoming anti-social. I spoke exclusively to my worst best friend and the alternate persona in my head. I spent years like this, feeling completely alone.
I convinced myself that I didn’t need other people. I would become smarter than them, reading and studying. I would find my own fun, watching late night TV and going to concerts.
I wasn’t just sad. I was depressed. And the reason seemed insignificant. It all started over the loss of some playground boyfriend. I tried to be anorexic, but instead I wound up eating more. I wanted to stay asleep and avoid the tragedy that replayed in my head everyday. I was sick of the world I was in. I wanted to commit suicide.
One day I heard a song on the radio that introduced me to a new genre of music. It was an electric shock to my system, and suddenly I had a reason to go on living. I discovered that melancholy was perfectly normal. I understood that I had the power to change things, and navigate my own future.
Appetizer is a memoir of extreme social anxiety. It is approximately 350 pages (78,700 words). I have also written an extensive outline, detailing each chapter. Appetizer chronicles the anguish that many have experienced growing up, while emphasizing the importance of never giving up hope.
The story offers solutions in not being able to relate to your peers, or anybody else for that matter. By reading Appetizer, I hope to help people feel less alone, and gain a more empathic understanding of humanity as a whole.
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