On thin ice

On thin ice

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𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑵𝑨 𝑵𝒀𝑰𝑲𝑨 Running away from something you didn't even do is like walking around with an A4 paper sized note saying 'just put me in jail already.' It's guilty, but when it's the only option you have why wouldn't you take it? Disappearing and starting over from a fuck-up like that 𝙖𝙣𝙙 on a perfectly clean slate in conditions better than your last is rare, incredibly rare. Anyone would run straight into that gate, but that hardest pill to swallow is realizing that the door leads straight down the same path you were trying to get away from. 𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑱𝑨𝑯 𝑹𝑯𝑬𝑻𝑻 Everything runs like clockwork and all I have to do is follow the arrow. Nothing I've ever received has come from my own sacrifices or my own bones, things have sat comfortably on my plate in front of me-Friends, job opportunities, scholarships, women. I've never had to pull a muscle to reach for any of it. So maybe this was my karma. Gods version of giving me a real taste of what it's like to be human-what it's like to have everything taken from you from right under your feet without warning. Except when is it enough, what will it take to keep what's important to me when everything else is gone.
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Altered

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

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