How can I gaslight myself? That this was just me in my delusional phase And not the lover who can't have what she wants, always? That this was just me being in love with the idea And not because I am in love with the guy who wasn't ready nor willing to fight for me Coz It is easier that way Than not knowing whether we're more than friends or not I should have just admired you from afar Why did I get so far After numerous heartbreak and cheating issues, I still find myself hoping to have someone to be my solace and be someone's solace.