Fragments of an Adolescent Soul
  • Reads 465
  • Votes 18
  • Parts 53
  • Time 3h 54m
  • Reads 465
  • Votes 18
  • Parts 53
  • Time 3h 54m
Ongoing, First published Jul 03, 2023
Mature
Explore what it means to be a teenager in our current society through the eyes of a boy who simply wants to be happy.

Living on the other side of 'Pretty Privilege', going against the standard of male beauty, and struggling with daily doubts about his intimacy is not an easy feat, especially when your sexuality is constantly questioned by family, 'friends', and even strangers.

In this book, I delve into my sexuality, reflecting on topics such as sex, self-esteem, self-confidence, my relationship with my parents, my experience with school bullying, loneliness, and above all, the desire to be loved.

I share my experiences, mistakes, and the things that have shaped me the most, all in a style inspired by Carrie Bradshaw from 'Sex and the City'.

Every day is different, and there is always a new question. The challenge lies in finding the answers to each one. How do we find the answers to each one? What am I doing wrong? Why was I born this way?

And the process of losing yourself, finding who you truly are, and not being a disappointment to myself, specifically, while being proud of myself.

This is my diary, a feverish journey of self-discovery and living under the pressure of your surroundings.

✦ New chapter every Friday! ☪︎
All Rights Reserved
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BOOK ONE Discovering your sexuality in high-school is one of the most challenging things a teenage boy can face. Being closet gay for months, finally coming out, being greeted with a punch in the face and being shunned is even worse. For Julian Douglas, life can't get anymore difficult especially in the face of high school, a restrictive religious mother, and a gorgeous man with a huge following who jumped into his life at the most inopportune time. ::: He felt like serenity. He made me feel safe and I couldn't help but slow my heartbeat down to match his and at once, I felt the tempo of his heart thumping against my back, his breaths on my neck, goosebumps raising. I could feel it when his body finally went slack, when he'd fallen asleep and soft snores emitted. And I thought I was getting better at this breaking down thing... I honestly did but when I was alone, I seemed to fall apart. Endless serenades of how worthless I'd been and how destructive I was; I was a disappointment to literally everyone and I hated it. My breathing became shallow as I cried for the second time that day, finally feeling content being immersed in guilt. A shudder wracked through my body, tears escaping and Paul pulled me closer as he woke silently. Mumbling soft nothings against my skin and kissing it to slow my breathing, he tried to lull me to sleep, "It's okay, you're okay." Refusing to speak -my voice failing me- his arm came up to wrap around my shoulder and I held him there, placing a small kiss to his tattooed skin in a broken sign of gratitude, I must've run out of tears. And I felt at ease.
Memoirs of A Healer/Clinical Social Worker: Autobiography of Bruce Whealton by BruceWhealton
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A loving spouse. A healer. How does this person cope with evil villains willing to destroy everything? They convicted the victim... now how does the victim goes on with life as a healer? As the book opens, I was in a psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt in December 2019. What starts as a simple conversation with another patient changed my life. Most of the rest of the book tells the reader how I got to this point. I experienced profound injustice between 2004 and 2006. By opening with a story about suicide, I want the reader to understand that the injustice was not just something that happened long ago. This book is an account of all the accomplishments and successes that I had in overcoming tremendous odds and challenges. Growing up, I was paralyzed by shyness and lacked social skills, and so the idea of becoming a psychotherapist never occurred to me when I went off to college. I learned that I could overcome those limitations. I wanted to bring that hope and healing to others. Activities like that make life meaningful and bring me joy. The reasons why I was suicidal in 2019 were set in motion in 2000 when a meteor would come crashing down upon the life that I had built leaving me powerless to do anything other than watching everything burn to ashes - the home that I had, the life I had known, the love I had, my career, everything would disappear almost as if it never existed. In that one the year 2000, I could not imagine things could get any worse. But the nightmare would continue for the next few years... culminating in a suicide attempt in 2019. Now, I am connecting with others, building relationships, and finding a reason to live again. I am writing my own story of my life. My parents Bruce Martin Whealton Sr. and Kathleen Murphy Whealton were actually guilty of assault on a minor while their son, me, Bruce Martin Whealton Jr. NEVER harmed anyone but had to suffer as I was a perpetrator when I was only ever a victim.
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I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?