Letters to God
  • Reads 371
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  • Parts 60
  • Time 2h 15m
  • Reads 371
  • Votes 161
  • Parts 60
  • Time 2h 15m
Complete, First published Jul 06, 2023
5 new parts
I feel I should offer a disclaimer; this will not be a book of pretty words and flowing writing. It might even have an odd format with short stories, prayers, poems, journal entries, and autobiographical tendencies. There will be raw bits of unfiltered emotion because I have always been a very emotionally driven person prone to over-sharing. This isn't a tutorial or a teaching manual, or a guide to Christianity. It is my personal journey in discovering The Way. My ongoing path from religion to having a personal relationship with the Living God.
The idea for Letters to God has been with me for years. At first, as a blog post, but that didn't appeal to me as much, for my heart has always leaned toward writing books. Then I tried sharing parts of it as short stories, but that didn't sit well with me either. Subconsciously, I've been working on this for years. Of late, the Holy Spirit keeps putting the title in my head, and I've finally gotten the message.
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My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.
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