The Guide of How to Fly

Once when this guy I knew who was fifty trillion seconds old he told me he could fly. It turns out you have to eat a dead giraffe cooked in possum before you go flying. This helps with knocking you out so you aren't scared of falling into a pineapple. But, once you get to the pineapple you have to knock on the phone outside so you can have permission to eat the owner. He won't protest because he knows that he is four years old. When you take the car he has been driving and fly up to saturn's fourth moon the man on the moon will sprinkle you with salsa to make you dance for the king. If you are good at dancing he will flush you down the toilet and you will fall back to earth within two years. But if you are a terrible dancer much like I, then he will make you fall off of the first of Saturn's rings and you will be caught by a dead narwhal to go flying. This my folks shall be the end of this very funny, chunky, flappy, snappy, ricocheted flying dying salsa eating very good story of mine.