I Was Told There'd Be Cake

"So let me get this straight," the police officer starts, "you and this man dressed in a banana suit hijacked an old woman's car, kidnapped a penguin from the San Francisco Zoo, spray painted the Statue of Liberty pink, stole a seventeen million dollar watch from the President of the United States, gave Shamu, the killer whale at Seat World, Vodka, managed to do all this in 72 hours," He stared at me with disbelief, "and you ma'ma did this because you were told there was gonna be cake?"

"Chocolate cake to be exact," I fold my arms and slouch my back onto the interrogation chair, "and in my defense it was for a good cause. Can you imagine how that poor cake would feel?"
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Culprit #1:
Eliana Montesano
5'7 with size 11 shoes
Blonde hair
Brown eyes
Smells like blueberry waffles

Culprit #2:
Angelo O'Sullivan
6'2 with straight teeth
Brown hair
Blue eyes
Speaks fluent sarcasm