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Killer Kings

RavenQueen666180

Reads 58,818
Votes 1,831
Parts 27
Time 4h 2m

Reads 58,818
Votes 1,831
Parts 27
Time 4h 2m

RavenQueen666180

Mature

billyandstu billyloomis ghostface killer mystery romance scream stustarcher texttospeech

THIS IS THE ONLY WARNING SO READ CAREFULLY!!!

There is going to be mentions of r*pe, unaliving one's self, Billy's scenes will be more towards steamy while Stu's will be on the fluffier side since that is the personalities, and there will be some knife play in this book!!!

IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH ANY OF THIS, DO NOT FUCKING READ IT!! AGAIN, THIS IS THE ONLY WARNING, SO DO NOT SAY I DID NOT WARN YOU!
~~~~~
Maxine Harper, a girl who loves horror movies and has a dark past that no one knows about, moves to the town of Woodsboro, and like all new and exciting toys, she catches the attention of the two killers who want to play with the new girl.

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher believe Maxine to be just like every other girl they've seen and met, so they get the shock of a lifetime when Maxine plays along with their games during that very first call.

This makes the three feel drawn to each other in ways they never imagined, making them want nothing more than to explore these new possibilities and experiences.

Maxine is swooped up into their lives, willing to help her new playmates in any way that she can. Billy and Stu find that there's always more than meets the eye when it comes to meeting the girl that sets their blood aflame and makes them feel like they aren't so alone in the world.

What happens when Maxine starts to help them? What happens when they all fall for each other so deeply that not even death can keep them apart? What happens when their love makes them find something worth living for?

Read and find out.All Rights Reserved

billyandstu billyloomis ghostface killer mystery romance scream stustarcher texttospeech

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Billy Loomis x Reader |Disturbance| by JalenaJaraczewski

Y/n L/n, a student at Woodsboro High School for 2 years, was in a friend group of 6 and was just an average student. That was until things began to change when a massacre came around killing not one but many people Y/n knew, including her closest. 2 boys, in the friend group of 6, Stu Macher and Billy Loomis go around stabbing lives apart because of revenge, for fun, and...Y/n?? Wait...but she's not on the list, nobody hates her, she didn't do anything wrong. What's the issue?- "I'll tell you what's been on my mind for the past 2 fucking years...unfairness, irresistibility from that imitation of a smile you shoot at me every fucking day that kills me mentally, the way you are in general- WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?! I'VE BEEN WAITING AND YOU'VE NOTICED ME DURING THOSE 2 FUCKING YEARS!!" ... Read on to find out more...

𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝑩𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒍𝒚 ~ Stu Macher & Billy Loomis by il0vedilfs88

"𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖." "𝑶𝒉 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆." A sweet, popular, slasher nerd spent her whole life in Woodsboro. Turning heads when she walks into a room. People either want to be like her or be with her. But the girl has always been oblivious to the jealousy and admiration she gets from others. Aurora Bloom is only worried about her feelings of her two best friends. The two people she loves but can't act on. The plan was perfect, ready to get rid of everyone around her. Ready to take her away from everybody that didn't matter. Billy and Stu just want the girl they love for themselves. And they would do anything to make that happen. [book one] Started: 5/6/2023 Completed: 10/11/23

Teenage dirtbag || Scream 1996 || Billy loomis & Stu Macher by onlyposersfuckingdie

"Everyone's a suspect!" Randy exclaimed, making everyone turn to him, either confused or annoyed. "and everyones a target. you can't be sure who to trust. it can be your best friend or just the person you sit next to in class." remi spoke up as she kept stocking the movies back in the shelves. "You don't trust us , Remi?" stu questioned, tilting his head to the side. Remi looked up at him, leaning forward a bit. her face inches away from him. stu's eyes flickered to her lips before looking back into her two beautiful color eyes. "No. you and Billy are on top of my suspect list." Remi told him, leaning back and grabbing another movie from the cart. "What? why?" stu questioned, surprised Remi smirked at him, "That's for me to know and for you to find out." She spotted Billy from the corner of her eye. "Billy might have a motive, though, but you?" She chuckled ,"You're just pure crazy, stu." "What about you? what if you're the killer?" stu asked, leaning over the shelf. Remi rolled her tongue over her bottom lip, piercing , grinning mischievously at stu. "What if I am?" "What would be your motive?" Randy asked, and she looked at him. "My motive would be.." The two boys leaned closer, waiting for her to continue "Revenge." ---------------------------------- [Billy loomis x Female oc x Stu Macher] Completed

The Girl Who Snapped || Scream 1996 || Billy loomis & Stu Macher by onlyposersfuckingdie

[Billy loomis x female oc x Stu Macher] - poly relationship ---------------------- Cassie Prescott is the sister of Sidney prescott. Cassie was the opposite of Sidney, but they both seemed to have a close bond with each other. what happens when people start getting murdered in the town of woodsboro? what happens when Cassie prescott snaps? Only problem? Cassie isn't the only one who snaps. ----------------------- Book completed

Psycho Killer (Scream 2) BillyxOCxStu by justthatrandomnerd

Hazel survived the Woodsboro Massacre, moving miles away to go to college and get away from her past. But what happens when new murders start at her quiet college? Could it be Billy and Stu fulfilling their promise to come back for her? Or someone else entirely? ~~~☎︎~~~ "You can see me." I said, spinning around to look out the window. "Yes baby, we've been watching for a while now." ~~~☎︎~~~ This is book two of four! I do not claim any characters or plot points as my own except for my own ocs and the plots that come with them. Everything else belongs to the Scream writers.

// 𝙐𝙉𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙀𝘿 // ʙɪʟʟʏ ʟᴏᴏᴍɪꜱ, ꜱᴛᴜ ᴍᴀᴄʜᴇʀ | 𝟏𝟖+ | by _Imogen_Ruby_

𝐒𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝙄𝙉𝙎𝘼𝙉𝙀 . . . 𝗨𝗻𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 (Mentally unbalanced; Deranged, Unstable) '𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠, 𝘼𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙧𝙖.' [|☏|] It has been a year since the murder's that occurred in Woodsboro. Aurora Moore is back and is still trying to get over her ex - lovers, who were behind those murder's. She decided it was time to get back on track with her life and attend 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗲. It doesn't take long for the horrific murder's to start again, but the big question is...𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘁? Is it the work of the originals or a copycat following in their footsteps? • 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐎𝐂 𝐱 𝐒𝐭𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟕 [𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟐] ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ, ɢᴏʀᴇ | ꜱᴍᴜᴛ | ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ | ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ | ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝: 𝟐𝟗/𝟎𝟕/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝: 𝟏𝟖/𝟏𝟎/𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

Eureka by Limerence-Lovers

⥏ Scream - Billy Loomis X Reader X Stu Macher ⥑ (Y/n) is a hardworking 17 year old girl. She manages to stay at the top of her class and works the night-shift at the video store down the road from her home to help take care of herself and sister. Her teachers adore her determination and high grades, as well as her overall wholesome view on life. Classmates admire her ability to light up a room and make any conversation just a little bit better. However, nobody seems to notice how she doesn't have any close friends- nor realize that very few really know anything about her. Well, nobody, expect for two problematic boys who really enjoy people watching. ⚌⚍⚎⚏⚌⚍⚎⚏⚏⚎⚍⚌⚏⚎⚍⚌ Highest Rankings: #1 in Scream #2 in horror #15 in Wattys #1 in Slasher #1 in BillyLoomis #1 in StuMacher This book will have a polyamorous relationship! Not two dudes fighting over a snacc- if that's what you wanted I'm sorry! I'm here for that good poly shit. Also, as a slasher fic, it's probably going to have blood and gore, mentions of murder- you know, all that jazz. ***Ghostface art on cover is by wrennnch on tumblr!!! Please check them out, they are so talented!***

American Scream by ElanaDaisy

Your teenage years are meant to be dumb. Drinking, partying, panicking for exams and nearly dying because one of your friends can't drive properly. But for Rebecca Harley and all of the teens at Woodsboro they would have to think smart in order to survive all the twisted murders occurring. She saw first hand what was going on, so how the hell is she supposed to make it out alright? Maybe when two boys decide she's worth keeping alive, for now, it'll be just the thing to keep her sane in all this madness. 22/4/23 - 10/7/23 Book 1 of 2 Scream 1996 x oc billy loomis x oc x stu macher Warning: Murder, gore, sexual content and stupid decisions

Scream 2 [✓] by Mrs-Delirious

1. Don't answer the phone. 2. Lock your doors at night. 3. Don't trust anyone. These are your standard movie horror pointers. But with a sequel come new rules. Question is, do you play by them? You, (Y/N) (L/N) have moved on with your life. You've accepted the fact your two lovers are dead, as they should be. Together with the only other survivor of the Woodsboro Massacre, you bite through your traumas to experience college life to the best of your abilities. But you can't shake off the awful feeling of dread when two students get murdered at the premiere of Stab; the movie that's based on exactly what you went through inside of that nightmare house. Is it the work of just a copycat killer? Or is there something more going on? *~*~* ♡ A Billy Loomis x F!reader x Stu Macher book where Billy and Stu are strictly best friends, sharing the same interest. You. ♡ This is a direct sequel to 'Scream: part 1'. ♡ Art used does not belong to me! I only put together the cover. ♡ I do not own any of the Scream characters. ♡ Highest rankings: #1 scream2 #2 slashers #2 helpless #11 scarystories

Savior: Stu Macher by januaryweather

STU x READER In a town called Woodsboro, the friendship between five high school students will be flipped completely upside down when a series of murders begins. A girl whose mother died A boy whose mother left A classic movie nerd The boy who is far too sensitive And you: the curious little investigator Will you find out the truth about the woodsboro murders? Will you still love him once you do? All characters besides y/n belong to the scream franchise. Some details and lines may differ from the actual movie(s). This storyline will likely be a decent bit longer than that of the actual movie, just because of what I have planned for the story. Mentionable details: - Billy has some feelings for Y/n in this. It's a part of the story, but as this is a Stu fic I won't have much come out of that. - There will be multiple point of views. - I'm going to be adding an extra killer, just to put another spin onto this story: but, this killer isn't working with Billy and Stu. Enjoy!

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 by Soul_Candy

[ 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐱 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ] ❛𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙗𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡.❜ They planned it perfectly, right down to the last drop of blood. The victims were chosen, the disguise purchased, and the phone calls scripted. But what they didn't account for was you. Desperate to keep you alive while still going through with their initial plan, the Ghostface killers become obsessed with making you their final girl. {𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟏} Highest Rankings: - #1 in Billy Loomis - #1 in Stu Macher - #1 in Horror/Romance - #1 Scream - #1 in Slasher - #1 in Ghostface

Psycho [ Billy Loomis x F!Reader ] by v6mpie

What happens when two teens take their love of horror movies one step too far? After Y/N L/N had fell in love with Billy Loomis, who is secretely disguised as a serial killer, things begin to go down hill, starting with the unfortunate, gruesome death of Casey Becker and Steve Orth. There's so many suspects, who would've thought that it was Y/N's boyfriend and Stu Macher? Beginning of book: 20 Feb 2023 End of book: 8 March 2023 ! guys the book might be cringey its over a year old im sorry guys🔥🔥 (august 20th 2024)

The mind electric (Ghostface x reader) by ForgottenFandomFics

𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕, 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚔. 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚘 𝚘𝚗, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚝'𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 《》《》《》 It's been a year, and no one's caught the killers of the Woodsboro Massacre. You managed to get into college, and work up enough courage to go. But the past always comes back to bite you in the ass, doesn't it? 《》《》《》 𝙵𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚗. 《》《》《》 TW: blood, murder, strong language, gore, bodily horror, probably more that I can't think of right now. Reader discretion is advised. 《》《》《》 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍? 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝙰 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚛. 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗, 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍. 《》《》《》 THIS IS BOOK 2 OF THE SERIES. You'll need to read book 1 for much needed context. 《》《》《》 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚞𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎? 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝙱𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜!

One Way Or Another (Scream 3) BillyxOCxStu by justthatrandomnerd

After the Windsor murders, Hazel moved back to California, throwing herself into her studies and work. She laid low, not wanting to attract any more murders. But what happens when after a few years of a peaceful life, a new murder spree starts up and old friends- or foes- come back into her life? ~~ ☎︎~~ "Baby, I don't think you know how many times we've been here without you knowing." "We're good at stalking you, darling." ~~ ☎︎~~ This is book three of four! I do not claim any characters or plot points as my own except for my own ocs and the plots that come with them. Everything else belongs to the Scream writers.

Phychopaths by FinalGirl96

Stu Macher x Prescott! Reader [Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Scream or it's characters. I only own my character (the reader) and the dialog I make up] Murder was something you only saw on the news, it was never something that happened to you. But when it did happen, your whole life turns into a bad horror film. At least that's what happened to my sister and I. Hi, my name's y/n Prescott and this is the story of how mine and my sister's lives changed seemingly over night. So sit down, get comfortable, hell maybe even grab some popcorn. This is going to be one killer story.

Scream 1 [✓] by Mrs-Delirious

You are 17 year old (Y/N) (L/N), living a peaceful life in the town of Woodsboro. Everything goes great: you have caring parents, friends, a boyfriend who loves you, and you can't complain about your grades in school. All in all, life is treating you well. However that changes when the one year anniversary of Maureen Prescott's death is right around the corner. As a murder spree begins and the body count goes up, trusting the ones you hold close becomes more and more difficult. *~*~* ♡ A Billy Loomis x F!reader x Stu Macher book where Billy and Stu are strictly best friends, sharing the same interest. You. ♡ Cover put together by me. ♡ I do not own any of the characters. Those belong to the Scream franchise! ♡ Highest rankings: #1 in Scream #1 in stalker #1 in psychopaths #1 in characterxreader #1 in billyloomis #1 in sidneyprescott #4 in stumacher #1 in scarystories #5 in movie

Don't Fear The Reaper (Scream 1996) BillyxOCxStu by justthatrandomnerd

Hazel moved to Woodsboro and fit right in with a close-knit group of friends, instantly becoming one of them. What happens when a couple of boys form an obsession over her, and are willing to do anything to be with her? ~~~☎︎~~~ "Okay, well whoever you are, find someone else to bother. I want to watch my movie." "But baby, you're in my movie now." ~~~☎︎~~~ This is book one of four! I do not claim any characters or plot points as my own except for my own ocs and the plots that come with them. Everything else belongs to the Scream writers.

The Whistle of death || Scream 1996 by onlyposersfuckingdie

"you ever heard of the whistle of death?" Randy asked the group , "the whistle of death?" Sidney asked "yeah, I heard rumors that if you hear this-" randy whistles ," means your going to die, very brutally I might add," he told them "that isn't how the whistle goes," Kit said, and everyone turned to look at him, "oh really? you know it?" Tatum questioned Kit nodded ,"yep," he leaned forward a bit, "this is the whistle of death," he told them before he eerily whistled "shit! that was creepy," stu said and Kit giggled, "how do you know it?" Kit grinned ,and he shrugs, "I'm a big fan of horror legends," ------------- Kit Hallow was a very strange teen , who just appeared out of nowhere one day. Kit was weird yet a likeable person, which made it easy for him to make friends. billy loomis and stu macher have gotten a new obsession and that just happens to be Kit. ------------- "why do you whistle before you kill someone?" stu questioned in curiosity "why do you always call your victims before you kill them?" "touche"

𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙲𝚄𝚁𝙳𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼𝚂 (𝚂𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟼) by clo_mxox

"Oh and you can't forget when she's too dumb to realise it's someone close to her" So why didn't you realise it? All has been quiet in woodsboro since the tragic event that took place last year. But 3 days before Maureen Prescotts one year anniversary, two teens are brutally murdered, leaving the town in shock. Y/n had been attacked too that night and is now, like her best friend Sidney, getting strange calls. But what's even stranger is that for a killer, he's doing a great job of trying to keep her alive I mean cmon this stuff doesn't happen in real life and it's not like they're in a scary movie.......right? 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 🤍 #𝟣 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗍𝗎 #𝟣 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗂𝖽𝗇𝖾𝗒 #𝟣 𝗂𝗇 𝖽𝖾𝗐𝖾𝗒 #𝟣 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝗑𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

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Slide 1 of 19

Billy Loomis x Reader |Disturbance| cover

𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝑩𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒍𝒚 ~ Stu Macher & Billy Loomis cover

Teenage dirtbag || Scream 1996 || Billy loomis & Stu Macher cover

The Girl Who Snapped || Scream 1996 || Billy loomis & Stu Macher cover

Psycho Killer (Scream 2) BillyxOCxStu cover

// 𝙐𝙉𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙀𝘿 // ʙɪʟʟʏ ʟᴏᴏᴍɪꜱ, ꜱᴛᴜ ᴍᴀᴄʜᴇʀ | 𝟏𝟖+ | cover

American Scream cover

Scream 2 [✓] cover

Savior: Stu Macher cover

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 cover

Psycho [ Billy Loomis x F!Reader ] cover

The mind electric (Ghostface x reader) cover

One Way Or Another (Scream 3) BillyxOCxStu cover

Phychopaths cover

Scream 1 [✓] cover

Don't Fear The Reaper (Scream 1996) BillyxOCxStu cover

The Whistle of death || Scream 1996 cover

𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙳 𝙲𝚄𝚁𝙳𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼𝚂 (𝚂𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟼) cover

Billy Loomis x Reader |Disturbance|

Y/n L/n, a student at Woodsboro High School for 2 years, was in a friend group of 6 and was just an average student. That was until things began to change when a massacre came around killing not one but many people Y/n knew, including her closest. 2 boys, in the friend group of 6, Stu Macher and Billy Loomis go around stabbing lives apart because of revenge, for fun, and...Y/n?? Wait...but she's not on the list, nobody hates her, she didn't do anything wrong. What's the issue?- "I'll tell you what's been on my mind for the past 2 fucking years...unfairness, irresistibility from that imitation of a smile you shoot at me every fucking day that kills me mentally, the way you are in general- WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?! I'VE BEEN WAITING AND YOU'VE NOTICED ME DURING THOSE 2 FUCKING YEARS!!" ... Read on to find out more...