Old Wounds

Loving someone who's dead is loving with your whole heart but it's pumping poison around your body. It's grief hitting you in the middle of a busy street on a sunny day. It's spending hours at night picturing their mouth and eyes and nose and imagining what it would be like to have their arms around your body one last time. It's only half living because part of you died with them. It's not like anyone tells you how to live after loss, they tell you it'll get easier and that they understand but at the end of the day they don't. No one understands when you're sobbing in the middle of the night or when you can't bring yourself to eat because you constantly feel sick. You're in a perpetual state of sadness and all you want to do is detach from now so you don't have to feel it, so you can pretend they're not gone.

A Grey's Anatomy Story
Amelia x Reader

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