Avoidant Personality Disorder or AVPD

Avoidant Personality Disorder or AVPD

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WpMetadataReadConcluida vie, mar 13, 2015<5 mins
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I haven't been diagnosed with AVPD, but I'm sure that I deal with it. It's difficult to socialize with other people when you're a big guy. Couple that with the fact that I think other people judge me in a negative way, It's a recipie for disaster. I have only dated 2 women seriously, but both ended in disaster. Dating scares me because whenever I try to date, I always get rejected. It makes me feel like I'm not wanted, or loved. I met a wonderful girl who I won't name, but she's very sweet and pulling me back into a world where It's okay to show emotions, and have them. Thanks for reading
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Best friends are hard to come by, and it's even harder not to fall for them. Jake and I are pushing six years in our friendship, and my love for him is undeniable now. It's ironic because he was in love with me, or claimed to be, but I didn't feel the same. And, of course, we did date. For like two months, but that ended and he move on to a girl who should have been my friend. I'm still in love with him though, even though it took me forever to uncloud my mind to realize it. It's much to late to fight for it now. It's gone, and so is who he used to be. I remember when those eyes landed on me that night. I can still see the moon reflecting in those enchanting orbs of hers. I remember how her smile seemed to be brighter than the fire. I also remember how I barely said a word to her the whole night. Kayden sat with her instead, and they laughed and flirted. They ended up dating for three months before she ended it, but that night. The night before she dated my cousin, before she planned for Boston, before I met Amy, and before everything fucked up. That night I swore one day I'd call her mine, and I would never, not ever, let her slip away. Now that, my dearest friends, is real irony.

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