Love me tender

"I always wondered why I hated being around you so much.
Anytime I was in your presence I felt smaller than I was, and the once ridiculous idea that some people might just be better than others suddenly made much more sense to me.
You always stood so tall, making it impossible to go unnoticed. Your voice was loud and clear- I hate how much people complimented you for it.
Sometimes, I would just pretend you weren't there. As if this imposing figure always blocking my view and making me almost invisible came out of my imagination..."

Mistrust...

"I sometimes get afraid that I'm being too loud. My voice sounds bigger than it is in my head, making me wonder if everyone else hears it the same.
You always told me you liked my tone. It was soft and quiet.
I never really understood it, but as it came from you so I assumed it was the truth.
My trust in your words was unconditional. Not because I wanted to believe you or thought of you to be a good person. You were just the only person by my side and I honestly didn't want to be alone."

"I kept you around for my benefit at first, but then I just got so used to being around you that I was ready to put up with your constant snarky remarks.
You were probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me but, strangely, if I could go back in time to feel the warmth I felt in the early stages of our meeting, I would. I felt great for a short while.
I'm not sure if that makes it worth it though. After you left, I felt worst than I did before I met you. You're not a good memory either."

So what is it exactly that makes me miss you...?