We're close yet too far, so I fade

Is it all worth it? Do things I overcome make sense?

So many questions that I get buried by it, thoughts making things so complicated to me.
I realize, is this because I need to find the purpose of this, why am I doing this, or that.
It's not my thoughts who's bothering me. It's me.
will this journey answer my what if's, will assure me? Will this realization hit me much that I will regret the decisions I made? Or it will free me from the suffocating thinking I have.