her life

She is with her friends, she's supposed to be having a good time right? She can't she is wrapped up in hiding her life, her scars, her past. These are her friends, why can't she be calm and relax? Inside she wants to tell them, but she suddenly remembers that if she tells her story she will slowly die inside. Her friends seem like they care but, do they? If she told them would they understand, would they keep it a secret, would they tell someone? who knows but she couldn't take that chance she kept it to her self, as this was becoming her life. "I did it to myself" she thinks to her self. Her past consumes her, she can't have a day away, everything reminds her. She hides behind a smile, maybe a laugh once in a while but, why, why was she so afraid?