Maybe She's a Problem
  • Reads 68
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 8
  • Time 2h 38m
  • Reads 68
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 8
  • Time 2h 38m
Ongoing, First published Aug 15, 2023
Mature
She knew it was coming. Edging on the back of her neck, whispering in her ears. The slip would happen. She would go back and she tried to avoid it but no one can help falling into the vices of their own destruction. Rock bottom loves company. She told herself before it was her friends, her neighborhood, her family, her problems and her actions were just a reaction to all of it. That, she knew. And that was something she could fix, something she could control. But she left it all and got better, good even. Good is good until it gets boring though, and then you can't just fucking help yourself. And now maybe, all of it wasn't entirely not her fault.
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It's moments like these that make me feel like my soul is entangled with his. It feels like all of the broken pieces of me turned out to be the missing pieces in his puzzle and not at all the worthless trash that I thought they were previously. Every jagged edge dripping with blood that killed the child in me has a home against one of his, which have slowly healed into each other. Huh. Maybe that's just it. Maybe our pasts were meant to be so painful and broken so that when we met, we'd fit each other so perfectly, so snuggly, so completely that nothing would ever be able to break us again. Maybe all of the pain and suffering and loneliness truly did have a purpose after all. Maybe all of it was so that I could become the kind of person that I needed when I was a kid. - - - She is the most selfless, giving, caring, compassionate, intelligent, fearless, ambitious, loyal, kind, stubborn, patient, hardworking, did I mention stubborn-as-hell, woman I have ever met. She treats the world with such kindness even though it has beaten her till she was bloody and bruised more times than you can count. No one in this world deserves happiness and peace more than she does. I just want to grab her demons by the fucking throat and hurt them as bad as they hurt her. I want to hurt Bohr and her dad and Caroline and every person that ever made her feel small or insignificant or made her hate herself. I just want to help her feel happy. She's drowning in front of me and I'm just trying to pull her out of the water.
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"Why didn't you come back?" He asked, stopping to hold her shoulders. She furrowed her eyebrows together, looking away from him to look at the ground. "I needed to go home. I needed to heal." "Exactly," He smiled softly, "If they can't understand what happened did to you-" She looked back to him, hugging her arms around herself. "-Then they don't deserve you at all." - - sequel to seven twenty-eight ! please go back & read that, if you haven't -tw ! themes of suicide and drug abuse -prewritten (2020)