I'd Rather be Drinking
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  • Parts 2
  • Time 6m
  • Reads 20
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 2
  • Time 6m
Ongoing, First published Aug 26, 2023
Mature
But all I know is the question why?
Why do anything that I do not like
For which there is no reward but what people think
Worth nothing once you've been on the brink
When you're ready to die because you've lived the lie
And you've been the empty shell and shed the blood and the tears
Because you have been through hell, you have lived in fear
Of what people think, and I'm so over that now
I am done with that now
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Release by FeelMyBreath
191 parts Complete Mature
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.
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111 parts Complete

❝you've been broken for long, come, let me heal you again❞ the darkest valleys of soul have been broken for long. let's burn our inner flames again, soaring so high, it makes the stars smile again. let the journey begin. bon voyage. ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ a guide for general titles: ♥ → poetry ♣ → short story/one shot ✦ → letter/notes ➤ → shorter quotes/collection of quotes ➷ → ai-generated poetries [serves as a memoir, please skip] content warning for dark themes (most of them are implied and clearly mentioned beforehand) | Featured in "Poetry Collection" of @WattpadAnthologies | ❮ cover credits: a friend made it for me long ago back in 2018 ❯ ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ highest ranking: #1 in microtale #3 in wordporn Thanks for stopping by, Saramitra