MY LIFE
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Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Fri, Apr 3, 2015
As i was a little child,I lived in a very happy life i got anything that i would ask for,my parents would always tell me that be free with us you need anything were here "baby doll" when i reached 15 my aunt and uncle died and those were my parents,well i thought that they were but until when i turned 18.When i was 18 my aunts parents told me that they were not my real parents that's why when i turned 14 they told me to call them aunt and uncle,this is what my aunts parents told me....I was found on the street when i was 4 months,so they decided to take me and then they took me to the hospital.The doctor said that i was a very good baby and with a good health,Then they decided to take care of me because my aunt could not give birth.When i was 3 years old they took me to school .They were proud of me being such a good kid.That is what they told me,i started crying as soon a i heard that,but they told me not to they told me that since i was the only kid that they had my aunt said that i was supposed to get everything that they had including money,cars,houses and i was shocked so they meant that they loved me that meant a lot to me that they took me as their child.I was mad first for them not telling me then i figured out they loved me and they wanted to protect me that is why they never told me
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Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.
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