The Checklist

The Checklist

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Wed, Sep 6, 2023
What's your love language? The question on the screen stared into my soul, mocking me with every taunting letter in every dense word. I felt foolish, fifteen years old, taking love quizzes online as I sought out to find my "one". I couldn't bring myself to understand how all the catty girls and all the immature boys created romance with so much ease, hopping from one relationship to the next; Each one following so closely behind the other that it was fairly easy to become dizzy from all of the redirection. Oddly enough, I wanted that for myself. I wanted a whirlpool of experiences, sending me looping and twirling in a lovesick spell. I didn't quite care much about with whom or how it happened. I just needed it to happen. That's how I found myself where I am now. Staring at a checklist the length of the Declaration of Independence. All I was missing was my signature signed, sealed, and delivered in blood, confining me to a well-established plan as I searched for my mystery man.
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My eyes snapped open as I fully remembered it. Remembered what he had done to me. He kissed me. I brought my hand up to my lips and gently touched them. I realized a smile had over come my face. I wish I had kissed back. Why did he kiss me in the first place? I had never talked to him about that and now I was getting more and more curious. I had felt fire works. No. More than that... I felt passion, wonder, confusion, love, life, light, a beautiful feeling that I never have felt before. Not even with Ryder. Should I ask him? Did he feel the same thing? Does he feel that way? But he's dating Catherine. Does he like me? Did he like me? Does he only see me as a friend now? Had I missed my chance? Was I being an idiot for thinking such things? Was that image supposed to be a sign that I'm supposed to be with him? Or was it the world trying to break me again?

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