A product of 200+ hours of Baldur's Gate 3 brainrot.
Fuck off, shut up and lie are three pillars that kept Helyli alive for all of her years as a street rat thief in Baldur's Gate. When she's faced with an ilithid tadpole installed in her good eye, she's forced to break all three rules, especially when it comes to him.
Of course, this is an Astarion x Tav fic, but specifically my Tav, Helyli. A cunning, snarky, sarcastic little Tiefling Cleric/Rogue with more secrets than she could count. This fic is going to have spoilers, but also be canon divergent, often giving some fun tweaks or additions to the Astarion Romance. (Let us hug him, let us be his mirror!!!)
I recommend finishing the game before reading, or, if you don't care for spoilers, go on ahead!
Do you like Isekai?
Do you like Baldur's Gate 3?
If you woke up inside your favorite game, what would you do?
Surely better than Jolene, who now has all of Faerûn to save, with only her knowledge to rely on!
Join her on this journey of infernal bargains, tyrannical romance, training montages, unexpected enemies, and world-saving weirdos!
We all know how the game ends... but only if you can make it there.