Funny Twilight Jokes
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Kumpleto Mon, Jul 6, 2015<5 min
Enjoy Twilight? Hate it? Neutral?
Well here are some funny jokes that'll make you laugh! Just read and laugh.... Read and laugh.
(Also for those of you that didn't know, I have a funny Harry Potter joke book also.)
Follow and vote for updates!
McNuggets, I don't hate Twilight. I LOVE IT TO DEATH!!!! Okay? So no more hate comments.
All Rights Reserved
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Abducted for the Pack
Extended SAMPLE! Book is live on Amazon & Kindle Unlimited! Monsters are real... and I'm in love with them. Coasting through my last year of college, I take a chance on a frat party and wake up later surrounded by monsters. What follows is an encounter I couldn't scrub from my brain if I tried. Worst of all, I don't want to. I'm tossed into their world where any hope of escape is wrecked by the filthy-mouthed alpha and his pack's obsession with me. They show me pleasure-and pain-like I never thought possible. Even love. But our fledgling bonds are tested too soon, as we're pitted against rival packs, ancient foes, warring factions, crazy zealots, and an illusion of choice which could leave me irreversibly changed. Contains: ✓ Multi-pov ✓ Inter-pack relationships ✓ Unique world-building ✓ A veritable buffet of romantic pairings ⚠ This s a dark, Poly Erotic Romance, which means there's lots of s3x and actual plot, with content not suitable for persons who clutch their pearls. Head to nataliaprim.com for all the "heads-up" (CW) info you need! ⚠Kumpleto
The Mate of A Vampire
The man looked me up and down, his red eyes staring through me."You... Are a werewolf." "So I've noticed" The man scowled, his lips pulling back revealing the sharp fangs nestled between his teeth. I stepped back, startled by the sudden conclusion that formed in my head. Vampire. "Thank you for the clarification, wolf. But I don't need a 'mate.' Especially not a werewolf one." My fear disappeared, and I frowned, anger filling my mind. "What's wrong with being a werewolf, Dracula?" The man turned, marching towards me until we were face to face. My heart skipped a beat as he glared at me, both fear and lust being the cause. "Let me make one thing clear. We are not mates, and never will be. Vampires are a highly respected society, and a proud people. I will not stoop so low as to 'mate' with a stupid wolf, just because he says we're 'destined to.' Let alone a male wolf." With that, he disappeared into the woods, leaving me alone.Kumpleto
The Bad Boy's Girl
Disclaimer: A very non-classy humor infused werewolf story. No seriously, the only reason its up and running is for sh!ts and giggles. If you want something slightly more sophisticated, feel welcomed to read my other books. ❇ Imagine this. You are at school everything is peachy fine. You are minding your own business when BOOM a muscular 'wall' crashes into you. What do you do? You freaking insult them until you make them angry as those cartoon figures in the tv where they are beet red and steam pours from there ears! Why, because to you it's the most rational reaction. But what happens if that isn't what they do? You do bump into the wall you do insult them but they look off? Happy? Almost bursting with joy? Then I believe he is a werewolf and your his mate. I mean I didn't do anything wrong! I swear on my best friends! Ok there was that one time! And that other time... Okay! I get it karma is a b*cth. Gah I should of thought about going ape sh*t on the sketchy granny last week... Oh well. °completed° #947 in Werewolf Oct. 19 #674 in Werewolf Oct 21 #532 in Werewolf 1.17.19 #1 in ComedyKumpleto
My little joke book
I give credit to the people that make these up If any one gets offended by any jokes I'm very sorry Please read, vote, comment and follow. Also please don't give hate, it hurts!! No one asked you to read this book. By the way some are a bit short but there are some longer ones. Cover made by @iamcrazynotinsaneKumpleto
SILVER
"That's not possible". "This doesn't make sense". "That can never happen". I couldn't help but laugh at the rumors. Well ... It might not be that bad right? ------------------------------------------------------ This book contains strong language, strong sex scenes, humor(some humor is dirty), and fantasy. Just read to find out more....! Please don't copy from my book.Kumpleto
Fated
****COMPLETED**** "You're driving me crazy," I growled, dropping my hand down to her waist then around to her lower back, sucking her earlobe into my mouth and dragging my teeth along it. She groaned and dropped her head back against the wall. Her sounds were intoxicating. I could smell how much she was responding to me and it brought my need for her out even more. I cupped her cheek and brought my lips over to hers, just barely brushing against them. "Addie," I whispered against her mouth, threading my hand through her hair. ... Addie has been abducted and thrown into the supernatural world. She discovers vampires have kidnapped her to manipulate an Alpha werewolf. Not just any werewolf, her mate. Or so the guy in the cell next to her says. Problem is, they've underestimated her because she's human. She's going to show them how much damage a human can do. Alpha Xander's past comes back to haunt him and his Beta has been missing for two days. Xander is finally contacted and offered a deal: his life for his Beta's and the mate he has yet to meet. He's been waiting his whole life to meet his mate and will do anything to keep her safe. Except she doesn't need as much help as he thought she might. #2 in pack on 5/22 #1 in mates 6/22 WARNING This is an adult book. It will have mature language and scenes.Kumpleto
His Possession {Major editing}
"I don't want to go with you" I whispered... Big mistake. I screamed as he slammed me down to the ground hard and held my neck, he straddled my hips hovering over me and growled in my ear making me whimper. "You are mine do you understand? Mine. And I will have you to myself which means you are going to join me and my pack" he said and I shook my head "j-just reject me and none of this has to happen" I whispered and he growled sliding his other hand down my stomach. "Don't test me mate" he said and I gasped as he grabbed me "you belong to me now so like I said before. Go home and pack your bags" he said and I just shook my head "I don't want to leave my pack-" "To-fucking-bad" he said "I let you go twice. I'm not letting you go again" he growled and I looked up at him nervously shaking my head. "Do as I say or I'll kill your pack. One. By. One" he said putting his lips to my ear "no" I whimpered and he looked at me. "I-I'll do it" I whispered and he nodded letting me go.Kumpleto
Wattpad's Best Romance Books 2
Looking for amazing, crazy, action, humored, and some best romance books to read? You've reached your destination ... Continue reading the pages of book 2 ! If you think your book or anyone else's book deserves to be on the list, PM me the book and I will be sure to check it out. But for now be sure to Read, Comment, and Vote. None of the Covers are mine ... All credits to the real owner.Kumpleto![His Omega [18+] ✔️ Complete](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/341565131-256-k777717.jpg)
His Omega [18+] ✔️ Complete
My entire life as an omega wolf, I've been treated like nothing. I exist only to serve. And now they've dressed me up to serve in a new way. The alpha doesn't want to give up his precious daughter to a rival alpha in an arranged marriage. So now I have to pretend to be someone else, and marry an older man I've never met. This could end horribly for me, but I don't have a choice. Part of me is excited to escape my pack...but I don't know what I'm about to walk into.Kumpleto
Just Nina
Hi! I'm Nina ? no I didn't just ask you a question....that would just be silly. I know you don't really know me so you wouldn't really understand.... Oh gosh I'm rambling...sorry back to my introduction. Hi, I'm Nina ? Go ahead laugh it out. My last name is a question mark har har har so fudging funny. Well I'm an orphan and Ms. Delilah for some reason thought after she found me on her decrypted doorstep with a tag on my neck with the word Nina with no last name...that a question mark will add a spark to my name. How friggin lovely of her. Anywho I have a brown complexion. Long wavy black hair. Brown eyes. Slim body with hips. Oh and I'm beautiful at least that is what I have been told. I always thought I was normal.I thought it was normal to always feel eyes on you when no ones there and every waking moment. I always thought it was normal. But it wasn't.Kumpleto
Alpha Female's Mate
I have seen and heard a lot of weird things in my life. Things that will make you wonder what the heck is going on in this world but imagine a woman well not just any woman but a goddess calling you mate and then turning into this huge ass werewolf. Now that! beats everything. Obviously there are so many ways to which your brain can process this. 1.There is the screaming and running for your life which should be the better choice. 2. Face it like a man and pray that your ass doesn't get mauled. 3. Faint because things like this don't exist. I'm guessing you know what I did, yep that's right I fainted and that was just the beginning.Kumpleto
Book Of Ha Ha 2
Part 2 ..... Collection of jokes ... Comment, vote & have fun reading. These jokes aren't mine, all credit(s) goes to the rightful owner(s). Book Of Ha Ha Part 1: https://www.wattpad.com/story/125795639-book-of-ha-ha Book Of Ha Ha Part 3: https://www.wattpad.com/story/129517281-book-of-ha-ha-3Kumpleto
Lycan King
*contains mature content* "Your mate was the last piece to the puzzle. I sent my men there to kill her while you were busy fighting with the alphas. I knew once she was dead you would be blinded by rage throwing off those sharp scenes of yours, leading you right into my trap. I may not be strong enough to kill you...yet, but this silver box is strong enough to lock you away forever. Maybe the others are okay with bowing down to you, but I bow down to no one! I'm the alpha of alphas!! I'm the new king, I'm the alpha king!" He growls out from the other side of this silver box. I let out a loud roar causing Tim to back away from me covering his ears. "I'm going to kill all of you!!!" I roar out as I start to claw and punch the wall of the silver box, trying to get out. ***Betrayed by the wolves. They took everything away from him. His mate, family, and friends. They locked him away inside a silver box to live out the rest of his days. All he wants is to make them pay, but once he's finally get free he's in for a big surprise. This book has it all. Romance, drama, action, etc.. please read, you won't regret it.Kumpleto
Not Your Luna (Formerly His Rogue Luna)
He grabbed me, and I felt tingles go up my arms. I started to thrash around trying to get out of his grip. As much as my wolf wanted him, I didn't and I wouldn't give in. "Let me go, dammit", I practically screamed at him. "No. You're mine", he screamed back, sending shivers down my spine as I began to relax into him. I jumped suddenly scared that if I didn't stop myself then I would never want to go. I knew what I had to do. "I, Emma St. Germain, reject you, Aiden Douglas, as my mate." I sent him a pitiful look as he fell to the floor, through the mate bond I knew he was in pain. "I'm sorry," I whispered before running as far away from him as possible. ***** She didn't want a mate, she just wanted to survive long enough to avenge her family. So when she finds out that Aiden Douglas, Alpha of the Blood Moon Pack, is her mate, and he cheats on her. She rejects him and runs. He is trying to fight for her while she fights her demons. What is she supposed to do when her demons become real? ***** Disclaimer: This is not a book with a happy ending or a love story. If you want a happy ending, this book isn't for you. July 27th, 2019 - May 29th, 2020 Highest Rankings - #2 in Rouges, #12 in LonewolfKumpleto
Harry Potter stuff(amusemet book)
Hello,this is my second book. This ''book'' is things 'bout HP jokes,rants,one shots,.......bla bla.I take requests,i even recommend books,i spend most of my time reading than writing!Kumpleto
The Best of Wattpad (Completed Stories)
This is my collection of the best books I have read on Wattpad. All of these stories are completed. Don't forget to vote and comment on your favorites :) Enjoy!Kumpleto
My Favorite Wattpad books
Hiya! I would just like to recommend a few books to all you wonderful people, in hopes that you will share my opinion. The entire books on here, in my opinion, are some of Wattpad's best books and YOU HAVE TO, JUST HAVE TO READ AT LEAST ONE OF THEM!! All the books are Romance and a few contain Comedy. Take a look and choose what catches your eye (Even though you should never judge a book by its cover!!) Hope you like it! ~ Lily xoxox P.S - If you've already read a book please comment what your thoughts were!! P.S.S - These are all in no particular order, its just the way i read them. :) "Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book." ~ TFIOS, John GreenKumpleto
Rib-cracking Jokes
Hi! Hey!! Hello!!! It's me. I was wondering if after all these years you'll like to laugh your boredom out loud. This wattpad book is full of nothing but Rib-cracking jokes. Read and laugh out loud.Kumpleto
Extended SAMPLE! Book is live on Amazon & Kindle Unlimited! Monsters are real... and I'm in love with them. Coasting through my last year of college, I take a chance on a frat party and wake up later surrounded by monsters. What follows is an encounter I couldn't scrub from my brain if I tried. Worst of all, I don't want to. I'm tossed into their world where any hope of escape is wrecked by the filthy-mouthed alpha and his pack's obsession with me. They show me pleasure-and pain-like I never thought possible. Even love. But our fledgling bonds are tested too soon, as we're pitted against rival packs, ancient foes, warring factions, crazy zealots, and an illusion of choice which could leave me irreversibly changed. Contains: ✓ Multi-pov ✓ Inter-pack relationships ✓ Unique world-building ✓ A veritable buffet of romantic pairings ⚠ This s a dark, Poly Erotic Romance, which means there's lots of s3x and actual plot, with content not suitable for persons who clutch their pearls. Head to nataliaprim.com for all the "heads-up" (CW) info you need! ⚠
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