Secondary school, life, suicidal thoughts

So after leaving primary school and joining secondary School in year 7 I was one of the bigger kids in secondary school and I got bullied and picked on by year 10s and year 11s and I did go down a very dark path of thinking That no one liked me and was close to ending it all, I had made a lot more friends in secondary school so I thought but I don't hardly speak to anyone anymore so I just feel like I was used, I wasn't in the right frame of mind and one day I did snap and tried killing myself and it failed, I'm happy it did and at that point I knew I had to fight people back and give them shit back so i did, one day a guy picked on me and I told him to meet me after school but because he was taller and bigger than me he did win and I was distraught about it but I got home and got on with the rest of the day after school telling nobody, I made a loyal friend when moving to my new house in Hereford I've known him for 10 years nearly 11 years now and he is the so sound and loyal, we have had our fights over the years and times where we haven't spoke for days on end but we would always come back friends, I love to guy to bits and no matter how far we live apart I will always want to know how he is doing in life we currently still live on the same street which I do love as we do see each-other still