"i wish to disappear already "

*FORGOT THAT I DIDN'T EXIST*

i been stuck on such a dark hole, everyday , making me hard to trust people , i never really meant in this world, i dont trust people that easily, and i dont want to love people. i been always be such a cold girl ,didn't talk to much , and didn't make a lot of friend on people,
i used to hurt myself from scratching some blade in my wrist and try to commit suicide, i been also depressed, and been traumatized by my abusive parents,and how they talk to me in such a hurting words ,
but i always put a fake smile, everytime i get yelled, they are especial to me even though they are heartless,rude.

i had a friend name "Lucy" , shes been there for me since i was (7) , she always save me from trying to commit suicide, she always there and comfort me on my abusive parents, she also know about me just an ordinary girl, but she decided to not say about it so i wont get concerned, if she might cry hard if my time run out

(I am luien)
ever since i been born, my parents didn't think im normal because of how i used to know how to walk in such a very young age (2), and how I didn't cry when i born, and how my mom didn't get hurt and cry by how chubby i am to get born in,

"when i turn 20,thats how i discovered im not really one of the people, im just an ordinary girl, who dont belong in this word"

i bump into someone, his look so old ,(57) , he said he knows me , but seem i didn't know him,
he told me that im not really a normal kid,and just a ordinary girl, that whos giving a second chance life but a "short life"
he told me, to just be myself and dont love a lot of people, because i might also going to hurt them , by leaving them,
he said that he cant help me to know how many years , until i vanish away this world, but he tell me how i will feel , when i was about to vanish, i didn't get a answer of how did he knows about this?, how did he know about me??, did he also used into this situation ?, but i decided to didn't ask a lot of questions.