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Complete Sun, Oct 1, 2023<5 mins
when I was younger I used to be a sunshine, but when I am halfway older I am now a pathetic loser. it's hard to grow up in a space where you are not allowed to validate yourself. it's difficult for us to grow in a very tightened mind that when you fail once you are looked at as someone who they want to be against. hearing words that'll shatter your heart instead of working things out. traumatizing gaze and viewpoints of those who sheltered you. the screams, the punches, the sentences. even now that it's the current time, I still carry those aches. I am tired of pretending as if I can actually do anything because, because in the end of the day, its only another type of mask worn to tricked people.
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Being the Bad Boy's Victim [SAMPLE: Available for purchase on Amazon]
He leaned in closer, if that was even possible, his spearmint breath fanning across my face. My breathing got caught in my throat as he lowered his mouth to my ear. "You can deny liking me, wanting me, but let's face it- You're like all the rest. You're that good girl who so secretly but desperately wants to change me. All girls want to be the one that makes the bad boy change, they want him to change for them. So you can go around, acting like you don't care about me, go ahead Bella, do that. But let me tell you this, I enjoy a good chase, and that's exactly what you are. Cause Bella, I get what I want, and I want you." ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ My full name is Bellatrix Annaliese Brown. Yeah yeah, weird name. Anyways, I am from London, England and moved here once before when I was sixteen. After being bullied, I moved back to England, where I was living with my Aunt till my parents decided I should come back to America for my senior year in high school. As you can see, I don't have the best of luck, which I guess is why- I became the Bad Boy's Victim. ___________________ PUBLISHED AND CAN BE BOUGHT ON AMAZON! http://www.amazon.com/Being-Bad-Boys-Victim-Romantic-ebook/dp/B016PSBM70/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1445179301&sr=1-1Complete
Last Summer || Damon & Brylan
❝𝙎𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙨𝙩.❞ I finally snap, this whole time I thought it was in my head but I was wrong. Everyone was right about him. "You're not listening to me Brylan." He begs but I don't care for it. I don't 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 to care for it. Taking another step back I need a breather from him but he doesn't allow it. Stepping into me he acts as if he'd die if he where to let me go. Reaching out I feel him grab my upper arm and that's when I lose my shit. "Get the 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 away from me!" Catching him off guard he lets go in shock. Taking another step back, this time he doesn't try to fill the space, he just stares. - Dating your sister's older brother sounds like something straight out of a romance novel. As someone who experienced it I can tell you right now that it is. Well, it was. Ever since he moved states for university it was as if a brick wall was built between us. I still love him but it doesn't feel the same. It's hard to explain how gutting it feels to watch your relationship with someone you love change, but you're too far to do anything about it. Unless 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 changed and it's all in my head. Maybe I'm the only one who sees it. 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 the things people have been saying is finally getting though to me.Complete
My Bully
"You're such a fucking slut. Get changed." He demanded. I could tell he was daring me to disobey by his stern glare. "No dad." I attempted to walk past him to go back to the party before he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, walking us to his car. I screamed and kicked for him to let me down but he held on even tighter until aggressively slamming me into the passenger seat. Before he went to shut the door and go to the drivers side of the car he crouched down and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "If you get out of this car I'll get Luke out here so we can beat you up till you're bloody." He threatened, proceeding to slam the door shut. My ass was glued to that seat. -------- Lily is like any other 16 year old girl, horny and tired. She's tired of constantly being bullied by her brother and his best friend, Ethan. She's dealt with it her entire life, but something begins to change between her and Ethan. What felt like hate soon became lust. He's toxic, he's manipulative, he's mean, but somehow she's attracted to him. Of course neither wants to admit it though. Will their relationship actually work or will they both end up with their heads blown off? ------- Mature content⚠️ - mentions and some SA - cursing - abuse - depression and suicidal thoughts This is kinda dark romance. I don't endulge in romance like this it's just fun to write. This is also a slow burn. If you're impatient and want character development fast this book isn't for you. I want to keep this story as realistic as possible and people changing their ways overnight isn't. I also just love books where not everything is sped through and you really get to know the characters and their habits.
Thoughts of a Juvenile
Words are sharper than knife they say. Yes it is true. Some perfectly moulded good words can both make and break a heart easily. A poem is a group of such perfectly moulded words given wings to fly. They fly through the mind and heart easily. A hobby is an activity we do to express ourselves, our beliefs and our thinking. For example through drawing, dancing, singing, etcetera. Writing a poem is one of such hobbies. Here words are used. These words and messages are far more twisted. A poem hits the mind, a good poem hits the heart. Thoughts Of A Juvenile is just a collection of my poems.I started writing poems when I was 8. I may not be a great writer. But yeah I write to express. There have been times for me like many other teenagers where I thought I was lost and helpless. There have been good times too. I'm standing on the edge of teenage now, telling you that you can survive this. You can survive everything. All you need is to find your strengths. There are sad nights and then there are mornings full of opportunities. Don't give up. I'm here and I'll always be here. Whenever you feel down just remind yourself "Be stupid". Go out in public and the eat the food you like alone, ask out your crush, flirt like there's no one watching, dance like a ghost has possessed your body, prank people, have a little chat with the nerds you know. Surviving is an art not many can master. Be a Master. There are mistakes in this book and I tried my best to correct them. But couldn't correct them all. I would really love to receive reviews and criticism. Vote if you like it. Comment your views. And follow for more poems. Add it to your reading list or library.Complete
Pinwheels and Dandelions
I was kicked around like trash on the streets. I was the book that nobody could understand or read, but without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages. I screamed for attention, but time after time, I was ignored. Nobody noticed me, so I made myself at home in my own shadow. They say there's light at the end of the tunnel -- I searched and searched for it, but it could never be found. Therefore, I lost hope as I hid in the shade and endured what seemed like everlasting pain. The little hope I did have was snatched from my arms. My baby brother was my life, and they took my glimpse of hope away. Home. Is that a word? Maybe for a family of some kind, but for me, I never had a place to call home. I moved from place to place. Unstable foster care, fighting for my life in group homes, barely surviving in detention centers, and running away from being mistreated as I made many benches my temporary home. The only thing that I was familiar with was a black plastic bag containing my dirty rags. I am too young to know what it feels like to survive. These are the cards life has dealt me and I am not meant to win; however, I easily lose without trying. It is hard for me to find peace. I am paying for my mother's reckless actions. I am trapped in a world where the sun has died because I am unable to feel love. I am unable to dream. Sorrow is my aura, and the sadness hugs me. My eyes are closed shut by the barbed wire fence from my eyelashes as they prohibit tears from falling. I am damaged. When will the morning come? Did the sun put up a fight last night, like I do every single day? If I can survive the day, I know the sun isn't dead. One day, I will awake to a glorious sunrise. Until then, I hope my brother keeps blowing his pinwheel, and I will keep making wishes with every dandelion I come across. For now, all I know is that everything was taken from me, and the only thing I own is my name.Complete
BARROW ME A SHELTER
-Look at me! Look at my body and don't you dare to lie and say that is normal. People look at me like I was a disease, a contagious disease who gets attached to you, like a virus, travels through your body burns your hope, range shots your dreams, massacre your faith and your mental health. A virus that makes people gossip, whisper about everything. Your clothes size, your stretched skin, the amount of fat that you carry every where you go. You don't know what Is is like to live as I do. This virus eats me alive , makes me crave and urge for food , while I have my face buried in the toilet , throwing up , eating back, exercise and control. You can't love me, you can't love something like me, ans i know. It's a nightmare that crawls up my mind in pure day light. _____________________________________ He needed to met the next sunset in hopes he would starve to death or find the end of the road to a Clift, where his body could be found at the end of the tale that was written to be his life, however his tale couldn't end there, where his fears would be transported to the next life and hunt him for eternity.forced to find a placed after escaping death, at this new journey he found the healing his body, mind, soul needed, so did she.Complete
I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy
CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014Complete
This Is War
"A warning to the people The Good and The Evil This is WAR To the Soldier The Civilian The Martyr The Victim It's the moment of Truth and Lies The moment to Live and Die The moment to FIGHT?" The things you said to me, that this will keep me safe if I just listened. They were all just lies from the start. All of them. Do you know how it feels like to be stabbed in the back. Of course you don't. Why bother asking? Being stabbed repeatedly and then being asked if you're okay? Blood running down your back, then being stabbed again after being asked that question? That's all you can do I trusted you, I protected you, I almost gave up my life for you! This is all you can do, Just use me like you always do. NOT ANYMORE I've learned a few new TRICKS Are you proud of me? I hope you are. You're the reason why I blocked out all emotions from the world. The reason you think I'm still happy when I'm not. The reason why I'm here. You don't remember him don't you? He's still apart of me, but not you. You MADE me like! That's was so much fun. Making sure I was always ripped apart while you're stood in one piece. The promises you've broken, The judgement no one bothered to tell you, The so called friends you have. It's all over now.I've covered for you long enough, all those years ago when I was still sane. I'll pretend to be happy for you, I'll pretend to be your good old pal. Oh I will. I'll just show you all those pretty little white lies that you LOVE so much. I'll sprinkle them on top of you, I'll show you how much pain you've caused me. I'll bring them all back! Of course I'll be in your shadows, I'm always in there. Being mistreated and abused for you, of course! I'll make sure to add in some cuts and bruises for ya. I'll be your fucking shadow alright, I'll be it and make sure you fly close to the sun. You're afriad of the dark. You shouldn't be sweetie. You shouldn't be afraid of the dark, You should be afriad what's in it.Complete
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
The Days With No Sun
Sometimes we fear truth over reality. But things get dark and heavy and we play the blame game. We end up hurting others or ourselves even. We don't think before we act or we don't say before we do. This is the evolution of my madness. A cluster of rants and thoughts and poems for you guys. Everything is written how I wanted it to be rants will be long with few pauses and there will be mistakes I might have skipped over. Aha. Poems at the beginning from when I was 15 years old to now when Im 18. Truly a visual of my writing evolution. Edited by @ChemicalStarling who writes a lot but never posts! Read on, loves. I'll see you on the other side...Complete
He leaned in closer, if that was even possible, his spearmint breath fanning across my face. My breathing got caught in my throat as he lowered his mouth to my ear. "You can deny liking me, wanting me, but let's face it- You're like all the rest. You're that good girl who so secretly but desperately wants to change me. All girls want to be the one that makes the bad boy change, they want him to change for them. So you can go around, acting like you don't care about me, go ahead Bella, do that. But let me tell you this, I enjoy a good chase, and that's exactly what you are. Cause Bella, I get what I want, and I want you." ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ My full name is Bellatrix Annaliese Brown. Yeah yeah, weird name. Anyways, I am from London, England and moved here once before when I was sixteen. After being bullied, I moved back to England, where I was living with my Aunt till my parents decided I should come back to America for my senior year in high school. As you can see, I don't have the best of luck, which I guess is why- I became the Bad Boy's Victim. ___________________ PUBLISHED AND CAN BE BOUGHT ON AMAZON! http://www.amazon.com/Being-Bad-Boys-Victim-Romantic-ebook/dp/B016PSBM70/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1445179301&sr=1-1
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