Coward
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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Mon, Oct 9, 20239m
The only reason I'm alive is because I'm too much of a coward to slit my throat and finally put an end to it all. Coward. All I do is drown in self pity all day. Down a few bottles too many and play with the thought of drinking something stronger. And to drink just a bit too much... OR Shane is depressed and an alcoholic. Do you really need to know more? Here is one of the many times Shane has been on the floor and thought for a bit too long (Crossposted on my AO3 account. Check that out, I post on there more than here)
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#1 enough #1 notenough #3 in lifelessons #15 relatable "They say you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did do in life," I whisper, glad that I can still form a coherent sentence with him so abnormally close to me. I would barely have to extend my arm halfway to touch him. I become painstakingly aware of every movement, watching his dark eyelashes flutter with every blink. He moves impossibly closer, eyes still concentrated on my lips. I swallow anxiously, forgetting how to breathe. "Well thank fuck for that," he mutters, before a hand against the back of my neck pulls us together. --- Never put effort into anything, I told myself. It will never help you. It will never beat those around you. You will never be competition for those geniuses. You will never be wanted by anyone in your life because there's always someone better than you. You will never amount to anything. You will never be good enough. I will never be good enough. And then I met Slater. Began: 2nd September 2016 Completed: 9th April 2018 (+585 days)

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