A Kinder World

A Kinder World

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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing1h 22m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, Feb 24, 2024
If you had the chance to leave this cursed world behind, would you take it as I have? This world remains so miserably cruel, like a darkened nightmare, a nightmare I have long since given up finding anyone to light for me, this world has never been safe nor provided me any small comfort... And yet, they say you should find beauty in the little things, the flowers, the birds, the people you meet, and yet, where I live the flowers wilt, the birds fly so high as if taunting me down here, and the people, I can only wish I had never met. The truth is we can't see the beauty that isn't there, the beauty that we ruined, that ran far from our dirtied hands. So every second in this godforsaken world I desperately wonder... Once I have cried and bled enough... can I finally go... to that Kinder World? - TW: Detailed Violence + Self Harm
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Tethered

Bright lights, the beat of the music beneath my feet. Distant chatter, quite whispers. The feeling of joy, loss, heartbreak, and loneliness surround me. Buried in a crowd, drowning under the gazes of people who look through you. I am but of glass, a mirror if you will, willing to be seen through, but not seen. Screaming in a room full of people when no one can hear you, let alone see you. Hidden breaths, rising, falling. Isn't that funny, falling? Laughing would be easier than standing here in the crowded place, filled with people, faces, judging every moment the other makes. I could tell you the peace I get standing alone in a room filled with people who only see you as a mirror for who they don't want to be. I could cry tears of blood, and non would ever so much bat an eye in my direction, but I love it. The feeling of being unseen as to appose being seen for the matieral object I once was. Silent, unmoving, unwilling. I am but an idea, glass, shatterable, broken beyond compare. But strong, resistance flows through me. Willing me to be the best I can be, but can I? Who says I make sense, who says I am even me, am I? That's a question I spent years wondering. Who would I be without these scars that tether my skin, marking each even, like a calender. To mend the feelings people have isn't a easy thing, but to break is easy, always easy. How easy it is to forget, to run. I can feel the ground beneath my feet, feel the soil in-between the crooks of my toes, I could describe to you the smell of the rain. Pinpoint the center of the earth, but as I stand here, again amongst the crowd of people stand in this room. I am lost again, an idea, but for what purpose? If I could run, navigate my way through this crowd, I would seek refuge somewhere dark and cold, where I could take off this cloak and be one with who I am, or want to be.

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