My last life surrounded by blood

One year ago, when my mother tearfully informed me of the suicide of an old friend of mine, I couldn't help but wonder what was preventing me from doing the same.

I realized that a dark red, almost pitch-black, stain had just permeated my entire existence. The last remaining bright spot in my life had transformed into a black hole, much like the inevitable fate of every star.

I swear, this is my last life. My last life surrounded by blood.

TW: suicidal behavior, suicide mentions, psychiatric topics, child abuse and neglect, auto-lesive behavior