Can you see him

A couple years ago I made this character in my head . I know it sounds weird and it probably is but just listen I was eight years old at the time and something weird was going on I would worry and get so worked up about germs it was really weird but I swear I could hear a voice in my head going on and on about how germs can make us sick and then eventually they will kill all people. Weird right? Yeah I know but anyway I had no friends like at all my family made me feel like a freak and everyone would always yell at me for being so weird but now I think about it I was really messed up but then again I was only a kid so I guess it was okay but this character was my everything he was my best friend and as I grew up he was like my imaginary boyfriend he was all mine and no one else's and he could be whatever I wanted him to be. He was mine. Every night and every spare second I got I would think of him and what his life would be like but I never thought what it would be like if he was real?