A letter to my beloved
- Reads 13
- Votes 2
- Parts 1
Complete Tue, Oct 17, 2023<5 mins
Just a short, sad letter Todd wrote Neil after his death. Or, The day Todd Anderson gave in to grief
(I wrote this while listening to sad music, I think that says everything).
Cover made by me, photo taken from pinterest*
All Rights Reserved
#13
neilperry
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Neil was caught between a hard place and a rock. His lungs heaved as he desperately tried to suck in air, but to no avail. He couldn't breath. Tears ran down his face as he smothered his strangled sobs against his pillow. He didn't know how long he could keep up this act. All he wanted was Todd. Todd couldn't sleep. He hadn't been able to for the past few nights. All he could think about was Neil. His lips as they closed over a cigarette. His brown eyes sparkling as he practiced his lines as Puck. His wet hair and how it clung to his neck after a shower. Todd squeezed his eyes tight as he tried to will away the wicked images. He shouldn't be staring at his best friend like that. It was unnatural. It meant he was a fairy. Yet Todd couldn't help but stare. A story of two boys coming together, overcoming some of life's obstacles, and falling in love with each other; until one is tragically taken away.Complete
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There's no easy way to say this, so let's just get it out of the way: this is the story of how my son died. There. Like ripping off the Band-Aid. Not easy or painless, but quick. Unlike ripping off a Band-Aid, though, that pain doesn't fade. It leaves a scar. It's something that follows you around, day after day, twisting its way through every moment and every interaction. It's something that defines you. You lose a bit of yourself when something like that happens, and I don't mean just the actual loss of your own flesh and blood. For me, I stopped being a dad. I spent years and years as a dad, and then he died and I wasn't a dad anymore.
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