All That's Left Is An Unspoken Word

I long for his hand. I crave his scent and body. Even so, I know, that his warmth is beyond my reach.

The man I longed for, vanished into thin air. Leaving me with tears unshed, and words unspoken.

My memories of him are drifting from my grasp and control. No longer do I remember his voice, laughter, and his teeth-bearing smile. The tenderness he showed me, that I never once deserved.

I tried to collect those memories dispersing silently into the distance. But I could not even reach my back to gnaw at the scars that were one of the almost nothing, you left me with.

They called me the hero, and you the villain. However, I was selfish and you were selfless. But no matter how selfless a person could be, there is always someone they'd neglect... and I could've only wished it wasn't me that you did.

You didn't even glance at me, as you walked that path straight ahead. You had sacrificed your own life, leaving me kneeling before the nothingness you left me to grieve on.

I'm selfish because I want you, back to the world that loathed you, that hurt you, tortured, and slaughtered you. Just for me, for my undying desperation for your affection. Selfish, for I want you to fill in the void that was left with my desires, devotion, and never-ending love for you that not once you ever saw...

If you won't hate the world, my hatred has already gone beyond all of the universe. I am disappointed in myself, for ever making you think that I despised you. But I can't blame you. It was my mistake... so Wei Ying, I'm bent on my knees begging,

"Come back to Gusu with me, 'to me' please...?"

Source: Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation a danmei novel by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

This fanfiction is about what Lan Wangji went through as he mourned and grieved for his deceased spouse. And how his son grew up to be an astonishing cultivator under his guidance and parenting. It also contains Lan Sizhui's point of view and how he saw his father and his silent sufferings.