Finding Me - BellaBooza - Wattpad

Finding Me

Reads 2,411
Votes 68
Parts 5
Time 50m

Reads 2,411
Votes 68
Parts 5
Time 50m

angel anxiety book courage discovering finding fun health heart heaven help hope life live love mental rush tears travel understanding

I hear my name coming from constant whispers of my peers. You only hear scattered conversations.

I see a dot on the whiteboard and zone out completely on just that dot. You only see a dot as you continue to search the room.

I see someone look at me with all sorts of judgement. You just see coincidental eye-contact. 

Everything you see, and hear, and feel- I experience in a deeper, more exhausting  way. I turn things into something they aren't and I make myself believe things that aren't even there. I turn every small detail into a huge deal, thinking that it is a small piece to an ongoing mystery I have yet to solve. 

"Skylar, you are insane."
"You are so dramatic."
"You make everything such a big deal."
"Just calm down. Your hair is literally perfect, why do you keep redoing it."
"Stop being so weird. I just looked at you, I didn't say anything mean."

Being diagnosed with OCD was just the beginning.All Rights Reserved

angel anxiety book courage discovering finding fun health heart heaven help hope life live love mental rush tears travel understanding

Table of contents

5 parts

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An Endless Day by Kavya_2712

"Alright, it's 12 noon. Deal or not?" I couldn't look at him, so I stared at the beauty in front of me. Somehow I knew he was watching it too. I felt like we were characters of a famous story, standing side by side, gazing ahead. I hesitated, my heart was beating fast, I was almost afraid that he's going to hear it too. But for the first time in my life, I trusted my heart and told my brain to go to hell. The girl lead in this story was going to do what she wanted, and won't fear the consequences. "Let's do this." I said and turned towards him. We remained silent for a couple of moments, absorbing the meaning of the deal we just agreed to. And then I saw his lips turned upwards just enough for me to notice. He turned to me and held my hand. I felt several emotions just by touching him. Nervousness, excitement, fear, happiness all at once. I pushed them all aside, and smiled ear to ear. He held his hand up, counting down to three, my heart racing with every finger he raised. And just as he finished, we jumped off the cliff.

Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy by Winchesters_united

The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.

Villain Enchantress by HiganbanaUbald0

No one has ever truly accepted me my whole life... My mom always advised me to be myself, be friendly, smile at people, and have confidence. I've tried so hard to follow her advice to make friends, but I've always been seen as attention-seeking, an outsider to friend groups, someone irrelevant to their lives. It's like no one even sees me. I've been experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety lately, especially now that I'm in my 30s. I'm single, living far from my family, without friends, feeling lonely, and overwhelmed with work. Sometimes, I worry that I'll be alone forever, without any meaningful relationships. It's tough being in this situation, feeling like a sad woman living alone in my small, nasty apartment. On my day off, I always find solace in playing my favorite game, 'Everlasting Power from the Heart'. It's my go-to for cheering up. However, after a meteor crashed down on me, I've been reincarnated as one of the characters from that intense otome game I used to play. Out of all the characters in the game, why do I have to be the villainess?! Reagan, who has no fate but to be the brattiest b*tch of the game!! F*ck it!! Does God really hate me that much, that my life has no purpose but to die being alone?? Why do I have to be treated this way?...

This is my truth by KristinaFigolah

My life has been an intense journey from a little girl who was beaten down and abused into believing that she was worthless, to a woman at 43 years of age who is still desperately searching for who she truly is. I found her though. I did. And she writes like me, from inside of me. She is me. This girl that I've been in love with since time first existed, is indeed me. The way that she walks. With her hands... and how she talks? The hearts that she's captured, the souls that she has inspired. I'm now trying to be her. I've never felt that I was good enough to actually be myself!!! I always knew how pure and clear and free I was inside. But people told me otherwise, in a very cruel way. No one ever spared my feelings or thought to speak to me with kindness or love. My parents were very serious and strict people. They believed that there was only 1 way to act and inside I knew that I did NOT fit in the parameters of the behavior expected of me. And every single time I made my Step Daddy sigh or frown it felt like I knife in my heart. I was a let down. Always too loud. Always moving too much. Always too fat and always too ugly. Always too much. Unless I sat quietly. But I've always been a firecracker and all of that containment really made me want to blow off! All of what was inside of me, swirling and dividing in me. Burying the side of me that I loved the most! I was a bastard and a blasphemy. Harsh words for a girl of 3. They said them when they baptized me.

Doubts 2 by SherryB915

Part 2 of "Doubts" It was that same feeling I felt deep inside me the day my grandparents left me. My stomach began to cringe. My throat was in knots. My breathing had gotten hard. My instincts were telling me something just wasn't right. I felt useless and alone... I had always knew pain my whole life but this was next level. That feeling of holding back and regret filled my veins with agony. I was lost in my thoughts. My heart felt colder and colder with every minute that passed by. Who am I ? Who am I really ? What is my purpose in this life that I lived? That I once knew ..... why did this bad luck fall upon my life? What did I do to deserve this ? I'm cursed. I have to be. I cried so much in that hospital bed that no tears seemed to want to fall anymore. I had no tears left in me to shed. When Akeem left this room, I knew it would be the last time that I would see him. My better half. My Ace. My love. My husband. My life. Gone. Forever. It wasn't confirmed but I knew it. I just knew it. Life fucked me hard. So why not throw it back.

Ball of Nothing by Destiny_Aitsuji

I started off as nothing, just a mass of consciousness that slowly evolved. Just your average overpowered existence hungry for a multiverse adventure. Demons? They are my friends. Monsters? They are delicacies. Heroes? Not even equal to the dirt on my boots. Royalty? Money Machi- Ahem, a pleasure doing business. Immortals and Gods? Share with me the latest gossips! With power comes responsibility, but I'm just a ball... or am I just a ball? Watch as I regain my memories and beat up my past self. *** Special chapter release on other milestones, check out my discord and patreon for more details, thank you for the support! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/destinyaitsuji Kofi: Ko-fi.com/destinyaitsuji Discord: https://discord.gg/UrtDMXn

A Memory Away by KNGKAY

[HR: #2 in Young Adult 28/3/19] ❛❛One look and I fell in love again.❜❜ ❈ ❈ ❈ "Aren't you going to say anything?" I turned around to face him. "Thanks for saving my ass." I swallowed my pride. He shook his head. "No, not that." I looked at him funny. "Then, what do you want me to say?" As if he got offended, he started blinking, trying to find something to say. "I-I don't know! Maybe about where you've been!" I frowned, not really understanding what he's saying. And for a second, I thought he was crazy. "Why are you acting like you don't know me?" ❈ ❈ ❈ After waking up from a year and a half coma, Mia had no choice but to trust her personal nurse to recover. And the fact that she doesn't remember anything about her life, didn't make it any easier... However, just when she finally recovered, her nurse convinced her to go to a private academy to build a new life in a better environment. But little did she know, she discovered that it was way more than just a regular school. Find out what happens to Mia as she discovers the dark place she's got into and the reason behind it. Or should I say, the person behind it? Find out what happens when she starts remembering things, leading to a tragic comeback from people she always wanted to forget. Because forever and always, Sebastian will be her reminder. ❈ ❈ ❈ I love you, was the last thing you said, But I didn't believe that you were dead... ❈ ❈ ❈ Previously known as 'Remember Me'. {REWRITING}

Locked In by MichaelaCilley

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

Fallen by kaitlynmariebrown

I knew there was always something special about me. I knew I was different from all the other girls. I could feel things before they actually happened, hear things nobody else could. I wasn't normal, there was just something there. In no way though, had I expected to be told that not, was I only half human, but 50% angel, and not an angel of heaven. A fallen angel, damned, yet given a second chance to make things right, to be rescued before taking the wrong turn in my life that shamed me from my existence in heaven. Only problem, someone wants me to stay damned, to never become the angel I was meant to be. They'll stop at nothing to kill me, plus I have no clue what exactly I'm fighting against and on top of it all I am nothing without my locket. My locket is my true source of power, it's what kept me alive that terrible night.

When reality splits [completed] by KatMoon11

All I want is to be alone. I wish that no one existed. My name is Zeina. I don't talk much. Not at all actually. Well not really. I sign or write things down in my notebook. I can speak. But I really only speak to those I trust. Today I'm gonna die. Don't feel bad for me, I am choosing my fate after all. Im tired of living. It's exhausting really living up to your own expectations and the expectations of others. I'm sick of shaving every inch of my limbs, plucking my eye brows, doing my hair, getting dress. Honestly I'm sick of people. My hair is long and dark brown with blonde in it. I have bangs that hang over my face and ever so slightly across my eyes. I don't have friends. My family sucks. So if you're reading this I have a question for you. Are you an outcast too. Everyday I come home from school, take sleeping pills, and go to sleep. Now I just want to sleep. Infinitely. (A/N I'm currently editing this!)

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Slide 1 of 10

An Endless Day cover

Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy cover

Villain Enchantress cover

This is my truth cover

Ball of Nothing cover

A Memory Away cover

Locked In cover

When reality splits [completed] cover

An Endless Day

"Alright, it's 12 noon. Deal or not?" I couldn't look at him, so I stared at the beauty in front of me. Somehow I knew he was watching it too. I felt like we were characters of a famous story, standing side by side, gazing ahead. I hesitated, my heart was beating fast, I was almost afraid that he's going to hear it too. But for the first time in my life, I trusted my heart and told my brain to go to hell. The girl lead in this story was going to do what she wanted, and won't fear the consequences. "Let's do this." I said and turned towards him. We remained silent for a couple of moments, absorbing the meaning of the deal we just agreed to. And then I saw his lips turned upwards just enough for me to notice. He turned to me and held my hand. I felt several emotions just by touching him. Nervousness, excitement, fear, happiness all at once. I pushed them all aside, and smiled ear to ear. He held his hand up, counting down to three, my heart racing with every finger he raised. And just as he finished, we jumped off the cliff.