Finding Me

I hear my name coming from constant whispers of my peers. You only hear scattered conversations.

I see a dot on the whiteboard and zone out completely on just that dot. You only see a dot as you continue to search the room.

I see someone look at me with all sorts of judgement. You just see coincidental eye-contact.

Everything you see, and hear, and feel- I experience in a deeper, more exhausting way. I turn things into something they aren't and I make myself believe things that aren't even there. I turn every small detail into a huge deal, thinking that it is a small piece to an ongoing mystery I have yet to solve.

"Skylar, you are insane."
"You are so dramatic."
"You make everything such a big deal."
"Just calm down. Your hair is literally perfect, why do you keep redoing it."
"Stop being so weird. I just looked at you, I didn't say anything mean."

Being diagnosed with OCD was just the beginning.