Premonition
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- Parts 8
MatureOngoing1h 17m
Last published Tue, Dec 19, 2023
My name is Saturn Walten. I'm a 15 (almost 16) year old transgender child with autism, borderline personality disorder, and a slew of other problems.
I have nightmares every night. And while each of them are different; they share one common theme: someone is shooting up my school.
Everyone I tell about this had the same reaction. "That's unrealistic." "That would never happen at your school." "Everything will be okay." I call bullshit.
On top of dealing with this constant paranoia, I have to put up with my neglectful parents and their unresolved childhood trauma, my friends and their mental health problems, and the general struggles of growing up as a trans boy in a republican state.
I never sleep anymore. My life is miserable. I'm beyond exhausted.
But life goes on.
cover art by my irl friend Jordan
All Rights Reserved
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FOCUS [BXB]
Like a bolt of lightning, this stupid boy appeared in my life. First day of summer break between first and second grade, he just appeared- standing on my porch like he was born there. Straight brown hair, wide dark eyes and a fresh sunburn across his cheeks. He was already talking before I even opened the door. I don't know how it happened but it's been ten years. And he's still here. Talking, whether or not I'm listening. Laughing, even if no one else is. He's still too quick- racing around the world like he's scared he's going to miss it. He's gotten taller...much taller. His hair is a little longer, a little wavier, but under the light it still looks the same golden brown it did when we were nine. And now, finally, he was a high school graduate. We both were. Like a bolt of lightning he appeared and like the sun he refused to disappear. _____________________________________________ I fell asleep with my chin pointed at him, the outline of his face being the last thing I saw. How was I supposed to do this? It had always been difficult, hiding this secret, keeping him close. But now, my focus was starting to slip. I couldn't see anything but his lips, his hands, his smile. I couldn't hear anything but my name in his mouth, his jagged breaths and that loud laugh. How am I supposed to be okay with this? How am I supposed to focus on anything other than him? #1- slowburn- 11.10.25🥇 #1- friends to lovers- 11.01.25🥇 #1- fluffandsmut- 11.02.25🥇 #1- college- 11.06.25🥇 #1- best friends- 11.12.25🥇 #1- teammates- 12.04.25 🥇 #1- college roommates- 12.30.25🥇 #1- mental health- 01.02.2026 🥇 #1- gay love- 01.02.2026 🥇 #2- roommates- 12.18.25🥈 #3- bxblove- 11.30.25🥉 #4- boyxboy- 11.01.25 #4- lgbt- 11.15.25 #14- boyxboyromance- 12.15.25 #22- basketball- 12.15.25Complete
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Like a bolt of lightning, this stupid boy appeared in my life. First day of summer break between first and second grade, he just appeared- standing on my porch like he was born there. Straight brown hair, wide dark eyes and a fresh sunburn across his cheeks. He was already talking before I even opened the door. I don't know how it happened but it's been ten years. And he's still here. Talking, whether or not I'm listening. Laughing, even if no one else is. He's still too quick- racing around the world like he's scared he's going to miss it. He's gotten taller...much taller. His hair is a little longer, a little wavier, but under the light it still looks the same golden brown it did when we were nine. And now, finally, he was a high school graduate. We both were. Like a bolt of lightning he appeared and like the sun he refused to disappear. _____________________________________________ I fell asleep with my chin pointed at him, the outline of his face being the last thing I saw. How was I supposed to do this? It had always been difficult, hiding this secret, keeping him close. But now, my focus was starting to slip. I couldn't see anything but his lips, his hands, his smile. I couldn't hear anything but my name in his mouth, his jagged breaths and that loud laugh. How am I supposed to be okay with this? How am I supposed to focus on anything other than him? #1- slowburn- 11.10.25🥇 #1- friends to lovers- 11.01.25🥇 #1- fluffandsmut- 11.02.25🥇 #1- college- 11.06.25🥇 #1- best friends- 11.12.25🥇 #1- teammates- 12.04.25 🥇 #1- college roommates- 12.30.25🥇 #1- mental health- 01.02.2026 🥇 #1- gay love- 01.02.2026 🥇 #2- roommates- 12.18.25🥈 #3- bxblove- 11.30.25🥉 #4- boyxboy- 11.01.25 #4- lgbt- 11.15.25 #14- boyxboyromance- 12.15.25 #22- basketball- 12.15.25
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