Jerma Gets Kidnapped and Then It Gets Crazy

AHhahahahahah spoilers for the title btw. If any of my irl friends see this. no you didnt. let me have fun. it was fun writing this! *british voice* all in good fun! *normal voice* I just felt like writing Joke Fanfics again.
(Mature rating for mentions of the word sex (not graphic dw), and also bombs happen)