NA YARDA!
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- Parts 3
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UNDENIABLE LOVE
I held her hand. I kissed her back. And for that one fleeting moment I felt something I haven't allowed myself to feel in years. But I shouldn't have. That kiss... that closeness... it was selfish of me. Because now, even if she doesn't know what it meant, I do. And I know how dangerous it is for both of us. So maybe if I pull away now, if I go cold, if I stop being the version of myself she's grown close to... maybe she'll move on. Maybe she'll think it was nothing. That it was all in her head. Because we're not too deep in yet. Not yet. If I do this now, maybe it won't hurt her as much. And me? Well... I'll try not to like her either. I'll try not to hold onto the memory of her laughter. Try not to remember the way her fingers felt on my cheek. Try not to wish I could go back to that night and feel her breath against mine one more time. I'll try. Because that's all I can do. It's not because she's not worth it. It's because she is. Too good. Too bright. Too kind for someone like me. And if pushing her away is the only way I can protect her from the wreckage that comes with loving me- Then I'll do it. Even if it means breaking my own heart in the process.
𝐓𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 & 𝐓𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 | 𝐒. 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐚
𝐇𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐜𝐞-𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲, 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬. 𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝. 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀 𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬-𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲. 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲. 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲.
I held her hand. I kissed her back. And for that one fleeting moment I felt something I haven't allowed myself to feel in years. But I shouldn't have. That kiss... that closeness... it was selfish of me. Because now, even if she doesn't know what it meant, I do. And I know how dangerous it is for both of us. So maybe if I pull away now, if I go cold, if I stop being the version of myself she's grown close to... maybe she'll move on. Maybe she'll think it was nothing. That it was all in her head. Because we're not too deep in yet. Not yet. If I do this now, maybe it won't hurt her as much. And me? Well... I'll try not to like her either. I'll try not to hold onto the memory of her laughter. Try not to remember the way her fingers felt on my cheek. Try not to wish I could go back to that night and feel her breath against mine one more time. I'll try. Because that's all I can do. It's not because she's not worth it. It's because she is. Too good. Too bright. Too kind for someone like me. And if pushing her away is the only way I can protect her from the wreckage that comes with loving me- Then I'll do it. Even if it means breaking my own heart in the process.
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