It's just a JOKE
- Reads 2,904
- Votes 29
- Parts 28
Ongoing22m
Last published Fri, Mar 27, 2015
This is where you will find some of the funniest jokes (in my opinion) ever. some may be insulting to people, so please don't take it personally, I'm a mean bitch, what of it? have fun in la la land, and hope they at least make you smile. Not only that, I have one-liners, pickup lines, random things that pop into my head.......so...yeaaahhh
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The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One}
"You signed me up for what?" I shrieked at her. My best friend, who had volunteered me to test a new game that she wanted to make videos out of. A game that took ten girls and ten guys and forced them to become a couple. But the guys had to go around and choose who they wanted to try and date, to court and try to swoon. A twisted form of the bachelor or the bachelorette. A way of trying to force love. And she had written my name down without my permission. "It's called The Boyfriend Games," she giggled. "We're gonna find you some love." •~• I gasped looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. "I mean it. The other girls not only dolled their looks up, but they all put on a phony façade. The personality and laughter I see from them is all fake. But you... you only show what's real, no matter how different your appearance is. You're still the same Thera that you were before this started." Chewing on my lip I looked up at him and took a deep breath before my reply. "I really have to pee." •~• Started: Jan. 2015 Finished: July 2015Complete
Violet's Delight
"Well then. That's the first time a girl has ever rejected my close proximity," he said, eyes ablaze with a playful fire. "You better get used to it," I retorted as I spun on my heel and headed for the school doors that led to the outside. "I've never met anyone like you before," he called after me, this time, not coming after me. "I know, Romeo. I'm a special little snowflake," I called back, not turning around. "You got the 'little' part right there, Princess!" he shouted after me. I threw up my middle finger back to him and heard him laugh as I exited out the doors rather dramatically. ... I'm tired of all those high school stories about a straight-A girl student with the perfect life who falls for the stereotypical Mr. Bad Boy who wears leather black jackets and only has a soft spot for her. That's not how the real world works, sweetheart. I may look like a damsel, but I'm never in distress. ... Not me making fun of the "she's not like every other girl" trope <3 o.o :)) I like to think I'm funny. After all: #3 in amusement 10/22/22 #1 in banter 10/31/22 #3 in friendship 11/7/22Complete
I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers
"Not the typical cliche teen fiction" "You're hooked from the get go. Pretty much similar to when you can't stop eating till the last slice of pizza, or have the eagerness to pee, but can't because you're scared that if you stop reading you'll miss the intensity each word brings." "There isn't even a word good enough to describe this book. I'm speechless." - "Please Lexa?" Elle looks at me, "Just fill in my spot for ten minutes." At that moment I was calm, what could go wrong with running a checkout isle for ten minutes? As it turns out, everything. -- "Why are you checking me out?" His voice questions. Even his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention the broad shoulder, killer jawlined boy it came from. "I wasn't, I swear!" My cheeks blush ferociously. How the hell did he notice? In fact I'd always thought I was pretty stealthy. He just chuckles and looks at me, a rambling mess, "Yes you are." "Okay, alright, you know what-" I pause trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered dignity from the floor, "Maybe you shouldn't come in here like a fracking ambercrombie model and then on top of that blame a poor little innocent girl for looking-" "I meant those. You're checking me out." He gestures to the items laying across the counter and the scanner in my hand. Oh shit. Let me just repeat that for a moment now. Oh shit. -- Started: 12/27/15 Ended: 10/24/18 February 2019: #1 HUMOR -- Warning: I cannot guarantee you will walk away from this book unaffectedComplete
changes
tell me your secrets, the things that make you tick i like when you talk, because your voice is angelesque...Complete
Cliché, Touché and Douche
{Completed - #12 highest} I was walking on a path all alone at midnight. I was just wondering around, until I saw a guy in a hoodie. He was beating the pulp out of another guy and one more man was on the ground, he was not moving. I gasped. 'Is he dead?' Or he can be unconscious, yeah 'el' he is just unconscious not dead. Duh! Who would kill a guy? As I was proceeding with my thoughts, that hoodie guy turned his face towards me. My heart had a mini heart attack. I turned my heels to the opposite direction and started to run. 'Run Ella, run for your life' was what my mind was screaming to me. I took turns without thinking, that guy was now following me and guess what? I took a wrong turn and which ended up being a dead end ' You are so dead' I thought. So, I started to think what I said last time to the people I love. 'Good night mom, love you.' to my mom, 'Stop annoying me! I'm going to bed.' to dad which also mean I love you, 'See you later Lu, love you!' to Luana. Okay my good bye says I love them all. Now I can die in peace. Granddad I'll meet you soon in the heaven, if you are there. I was still in my deep thoughts until I saw his silhouette. As, he get closer, my heart begin to race faster. I closed my eyes, until I heard him say "Ella?" O to the M to the G, this person actually knows me. I opened my one eye and saw him due to the small light hanging in that ally "Errrrr'ick!" I squeaked and mentally face palmed myself. Even at this state I'm calling him Errr'ick. "I'm sorry your highness, what can I do for you?" I squeaked again while trembling. The next second I heard his fits of laughter. He was rolling on the floor, actually rofling. I was glaring at him but I realised that I'm not in a position to glare. So, I made puppy dog face for him to spare my little life. He stopped but after seeing my face, he started to laugh again. He tried to say between his guffaws "You..... your face .....was epiccc!" He started to gasp for air and had tears in his eyes.Complete
Twisted
"I think I'm gay." I say, leaving out the part about my... exposing dream about him last night. I watched his expression, waiting for some sign that he was angry. I waited for him to call me a faggot, to curse me off and tell me he never wanted to see me again. Instead, I was greeted with his perfect toothy smile. "That's great man, I'm of proud you." He says, patting my arm as he stuffed another cracker in his mouth. "It takes some real balls to come out to someone." He says, his beautiful green eyes blazing into mine. I felt myself become flustered at his gaze. "Uh, Yeah, Thanks." I stumbled out, "You're not mad?" I ask. His expression turns to hurt as he crinkles his eyebrows. "Why the hell would I be mad?" He asks, hesitating on the crackers and pushing them away. "I just thought-it's just- well... you just always seem so pissed when someone mentions the word gay." I spit out words, scared for his reaction. He sighs, "That doesn't fucking mean I hate gays. Normally when I do that it's because someone's using the word 'gay' to hate on them, it just pisses me off, you know?" He asks, bringing the crackers back into his lap and biting into them. "Plus-" He adds on, "You're my best friend, if anything, you being gay is a blessing. I'll always support you." He says, glancing at me through the side of his eyes. I look away, towards the door to hide the crimson blush that I feel spread over my face. "Thanks." I all but squeak out. And that's the day I realized, I have a faint crush on my best friend. <><><><><< THIS BOOK IS BEING *MAJORLY* EDITED. THERES LOTS OF SPELLING MISTAKES AND NAME MIX UPS, SOME CHAPTERS WILL BE REWRITTEN Also, Please don't be mean to the characters, they aren't even close to perfect, but they don't deserve hate.Complete
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Okay. So, let's all just agree that some stories can be pretty cliché, right. I mean - do you wanna tell me you never been reading a story and thought "yo, what the hell, that makes no sense, people don't act like that in real life, what's up with the cliché thing, damn."? Yeah, it's that feeling we're going against here. So this THING, whatever it is, will feature all your good ol' clichés, but from an aromantics point of view. Or just call it a parody or something, I dunno. You do you. Nice talking to ya. Same time next week?Complete
Smile Your Worries Away
Oh you are SO lucky to stumble onto this page. Why is that? You wonder. Why? WELL. That's because this is going to be the- BEST. BOOK. YOU. HAVE. EVER. READ!!! "Oh yeah? You sure?" you taunt. (or maybe you don't) Oh I'm sure alright! Wanna bet? ==)Complete
"You signed me up for what?" I shrieked at her. My best friend, who had volunteered me to test a new game that she wanted to make videos out of. A game that took ten girls and ten guys and forced them to become a couple. But the guys had to go around and choose who they wanted to try and date, to court and try to swoon. A twisted form of the bachelor or the bachelorette. A way of trying to force love. And she had written my name down without my permission. "It's called The Boyfriend Games," she giggled. "We're gonna find you some love." •~• I gasped looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. "I mean it. The other girls not only dolled their looks up, but they all put on a phony façade. The personality and laughter I see from them is all fake. But you... you only show what's real, no matter how different your appearance is. You're still the same Thera that you were before this started." Chewing on my lip I looked up at him and took a deep breath before my reply. "I really have to pee." •~• Started: Jan. 2015 Finished: July 2015
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