The Housewife Assassin's Handbook - Josie Brown - Wattpad

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook

JosieBrownAuthor

Reads 54,108
Votes 2,692
Parts 26
Time 5h 29m

Reads 54,108
Votes 2,692
Parts 26
Time 5h 29m

JosieBrownAuthor

Mature

#Watty2016
Any woman can be both the perfect housewife and an accomplished assassin, because both functions require the same qualities: creativity; a never-say-die attitude; and an attention to details, no matter how small...

*****

All I really needed to know about being a freelance assassin I learned before my youngest daughter, Trisha, started kindergarten.

I've come to that realization as I lay naked and handcuffed to the bed of my target du jour, a sleazebag by the name of Yuri Petrovich. 

Believe it or not, everything is going just as I planned, and right on schedule.

At least, that is what I tell myself as I watch him unzip his rock star-tight leather pants and squeeze out of them as quickly as he can because of his erection, which seems to be growing by the nanosecond and has him wincing in pain. 

In Yuri's fantasy if anyone is going to say ouch, it's going to be me....

*****

YES. YOU WANT TO READ MORE.

More murder. More suspense. More sex. And yes, more handy household tips. 

"Adorable is not usually the word that comes to mind with a title like The Housewife Assassin's Handbook, but it was just what I needed to pull me out of my reading doldrums. Donna works for the good guys, Acme Industries, undercover by taking down drug lords and terrorists with a matter-0f-fact attitude while worrying about making it to her carpooling duties. Granted, the book ended with a hook that made me want to immediately get the next one, which is always a smart move and I was excited to see that there are actually 11 books in the series (including a prequel).  I now want a week at the beach to read them all.  Live a little, add some spice to your life, give this little book a try and give yourself a reason to smile.  I know I did and now I'm completely smitten." -- Barbara Vey, BarbaraVey.com

"Secrets, sex, money and scandal...Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue makes for truly entertaining reading." 
--Jackie Collins

www. JosieBrown.comAll Rights Reserved

Table of contents

26 parts

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MY BADASS GIRL by moniagnes

I was roughly brought into my room and dropped into my bed.I was burning with anger. "Where were you?", asked my mad dog husband."I'm out ",I said. "You were gone out for three weeks and I'm here freaking out and your saying I'm out ", he seethed. And I lost there my mind.I moved nearly close to him and whispered into his ear. "LISTEN MY DEAR HUSBAND MY WHEREABOUTS IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS AND YOUR JUST MY HUSBAND IN NAME AND DON'T YOU EVER DRAG ME AND QUESTION ME, GO AND QUESTION THE DAMN GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS THAT YOU HAVE!", I seethed and left that home . Keily is an undercover Agent,rocking on missions, a young talented beautiful lady, not ready for any sort of commitment, a hot tempered, a stubborn one,very protective over her loved ones got into an arranged marriage to an typical Buisness man. Aiden is your typical billionaire with perfect life, commited to his girlfriend forced into a arranged marriage by his Parent's to an most stubborn lady and a hot tempered one. Read for more!! #1in fakerelationship (25/08/2020) #1 in forcedmarriage (13/05/2021) #1 in loveaftermarriage (17/05/2021) #1 in agent (25/07/2021) #1 in youth(12/09/2021) Characters,places,story is fiction!! Published on 11 May 2020 Finished on 17 June 2020

Savage Mafia Couple by maghee23

"You can't avoid me forever Lara" I chuckled "I'm ignoring you, you idiot" "Is it?" he slowly came towards me and pressed my body with his. Now I'm crushing between wall and him. My God please save me from this psycho. We locked our eyes, I saw his grey one. His eyes are filled with lust. I can sense I'm turning on but I'll never allow that. While I'm thinking about how to punch him, he suddenly slip his hand under my night wear rubbing my right thigh up and down. I'm in dead shock that my body can't move an inch from where I was standing, scratch that I was being crushing by this monster. He slowly leaned towards my ear, rubbing his lips below my ear and whisper "looks like you're enjoying my touch." I give him a big smirk making him confused, it's reasonable because he don't know my next move.. ≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈ Zanvil Makarov 25, Russian, cold and merciless Mafia king, play boy. Lara Charlotte 21, daughter of Italian mafia Don, infamous assassin who everyone is afraid of. Top one mafia king and top one assassin who is trying to revenge her friend death. Will her identity get reveal? Will these two savage people become 'Savage Couple'? 𝓛𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓶𝓾𝓽 🔞 I'm not embarrassed to say that my first story is a cliche one.

Care to Command by TheBluntWeirdo

Office enemies fight for the same promotion, while resisting their growing chemistry. LAYLA masks her insecurities behind perfectionism. The goofy girl who loved flowers and cooking for her parents is now a workaholic and out of touch with herself. All she's able to focus on is to get promoted so that she has a chance to feel confident and earn her dad's long-awaited approval. LUCAS hides a heavy burden with charm and nonchalance. The boy who used to be nurturing and open now pretends to joke around without a care. What he doesn't share is that he might want that promotion to fulfill his own voids just like her. One thing leads to another, and the two find themselves in unprofessional settings where their masks slowly come off, showing how similar they are, and just how much they might need each other. "Loved this story. It had everything that makes a story amazing. Fuming hot chemistry. Believable flawed characters that changed and matured through chapters. " - loriblu2000 "This was just the kind of story I've been looking for. So cute and also realistic. I adored the characters and their banters sooo much." - draama__queen "I absolutely adore Layla and Lucas and and they are characterized so beautifully that it's almost impossible for them not to become instant favorites." - Wisal13 "I LOVE Layla's strong character, the strong female lead because it's literally so rare, especially on Wattpad, and I loved that the male lead, not once tried to show how MANLY he is and exert his power because of his insecurities, like in most books." - maddylewis998 "This book made me laugh , cry and did some other things too hehe.. This is one of the best rom-com books I've ever read I have to re-read again.. Lots of love" - jamsniee "Sooo I started reading this at 1am and finished at 10:30 am... and it was so fking worth it! " - cassie2736

Classified || 2 || ✔️ mature by lustenvy

Draft • unedited. • • • "And I do love it when a man is at the pointy end of my dagger." I push the blade in more, a sliver of skin parting as red flows between the crevices and blesses the weapon. He only grins wider, "Show no mercy, Angel." He rears up, lips capturing mine and pulling my face closer to his, his hand winding itself around my neck to hold me in place as he draws my whole being into his with only his poisoned tongue and daring words. . . "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." "The enemy of my enemy, is my enemy tomorrow." I counter. • • • They took everything from me. Hunt me. Underestimate me. I have nothing to lose . . . Until he shows up. He is my undoing. The unknown. I can't let him in. • • • He thought I had been broken, consumed in his games. Loyal. At least I was . . . Until I saw her. She is my redemption. She is the job. I have to kill her. • • • Trigger warnings - this book is a lot darker than Alliance and as such deals with descriptions of torture, assault, murder and mention of SA. If this is not for you, feel free to not read. There is some sex scenes throughout this book so please read at your own risk. The main character/s are also very morally grey so if you don't like characters torturing others, this isn't the book for you. • • • Cover by Quirky Circe on Etsy Started writing 09/19 - published 02/20 - finished 03/20. Edited 01/21 Highest ranking #1 in spy 06/04/2020

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 by xrk07x

[COMPLETED] Book 3 in the Del Rosso series ____________________________________________ "Yes." ____________________________________________ Reyna Del Rosso, the heir to the Spanish Mafia. A woman who was fed with a spoon made of gold. She got everything she wanted. She had men falling at her feet with a single look, a body of a Goddess and a heart of gold. She kills without even glancing back at her victim. With the worlds most powerful Don as her father and the worlds most powerful Donna as her mother, no one has dared to touch her. Not until him. Leonid Varkov took over the Russian Mafia to carry his fathers legacy but he is now an easy target for the Del Rosso's because of a line of lies that was fed to him, making both mafia's enemies. He's a man who's known to be merciless, ruthless, strong and powerful. He wears the scars of his formal kills like jewellery. People steered clear of the new boss as he was known across the mafias. He was already feared, already at the top. What happens when the two cross paths to form an alliance? What happens when the truth is revealed? What happens when they can't ignore their dark, forbidden desires for each other? ____________________________________________ //tw read book with caution// •contains sexual content• started: 2/4/23 finished: 22/3/25 #4 kill: 22/3/25 #11 enemies: 2/2/25

The Good Bad Girl by Rain_xxxo

COMPLETED First was the marriage contract. Then came its terms and conditions. Now, I am a divorcee standing in the path of my revenge. Taking back everything that was mine from the start. My stepfather sold me in the name of saving his company. My husband signed the marital contract to keep me away from him. What did they think? I'll just let the men in my life decide my fate? Have them puppet my life for me? No, darling. I am a survivor and I am ready to take control of my life. No man will make decisions for me. Again. Five years ago, they took my innocence for granted. Five years later, I am a serial killer with a personal mission. Terror and torture rise with me. All the members of the board who took part in dictating my fate with that contract will meet theirs now. Including my dearest husband. Have you seen a good girl covered in blood? I am Olivia Myers and this is my revenge against those who took my innocence to their advantage. Marriage of convenience Enemies to Lovers Second chance. . . . . Original story (This is my work and everything I've written is my imagination.) COMPLETED MATURE CONTENT AND TRIGGER WARNINGS. BEWARE OF THAT. THERE'S GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND SEX SCENES AGE LIMIT IS RECOMMENDED. (18+) COPYRIGHT RESERVED, Chapters will be Updated, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY.

His Perfect Wife Strikes Back by JacquelineZZZ

What happens to a perfect housewife? After seven years of marriage, I am known as the perfect wife. I love my husband Ron, and I've always thought our marriage was perfect except for the lack of an heir. However, on our seventh anniversary, my husband told me that my little sister, Gina, was pregnant with his child. At this moment, I feel my world collapse! I frantically went to Gina's apartment to ask her why she was trying to break up my marriage, only to see her clutching her stomach as she lay on the floor in pain, and I was arrested as a murderer. "Let me out! I want to see my husband!" In prison, I found out that I was pregnant. I was anxious to tell my husband the news, but Gina's dagger came instead. At the moment of death, I shouted from the bottom of my heart: I am willing to pay any price to revenge. When I opened my eyes again, Ron was urging me to go to the funeral. What's going on? I'm back in my house? I grabbed my phone and looked at the date. It was seven days before our 7th anniversary. Yes, I was reborn, and this time I won't let it happen again. All those who betray me must be punished. But why is there a dangerous man following me?

Tomorrow's Blues by fadedxfires

~"You don't- you don't need me." I stared in shock. This was the first shred of emotion he'd shown since he started avoiding me, and I had no idea how to respond. What was I supposed to say to something like that? So I let myself be honest, and I told him exactly how I felt. "But I do." I almost choked on my words. "I do need you. I can't talk to anybody else. I can't eat. I can't sleep. And I know you know what that's like."~ Liliana is now an orphan. Just 17 years old, she lost her parents in a boating accident and now she must live with her best friend, her best friend's parents and her best friend's brother, Joseph. She struggles through her grief as well as dealing with the mysterious but obnoxious Joseph, and it soon comes to light that he isn't the only one around her keeping secrets. Living under the same roof, tensions arise, and Liliana begins to discover that a perfect family may not be so perfect after all." If you like a good old slowburn, enemies (ish) to lovers, bonding over tragic backstories type beat then this story is for you, I promise :) #1 in #bestfriendsbrother (didn't note the exact date - some time in January 2021) #1 in #dealing with death (11/04/21) amazing cover by @sixty6ix !!

Killing Is Thrilling (Completed) by duncanchurch97

I had gotten away with a lot in the past few weeks. Two attractive girls successfully murdered along with a house pet to warn one of my targets she was not safe. I have not forgotten her, long black hair and beautiful blue eyes as well as a model figure. Don't think I have stopped with my plan, she is still on the list and her time will come. She was supposed to be my second victim however it seemed I made things too difficult for myself by sending these notes, with her boyfriend always on guard but he can't protect her forever. The police and security in this town were clearly useless, no evidence, no clues, nothing. I was hungry when I murdered Jess at her party and I was feeding my appetite. You are probably questioning my motives by now, I can't revel that just yet but things will become clearer in time, after all the truth is out there. When I was younger I never expected to become what I had became now, it stemmed from the way I had been treated. See I have no remorse because people never had any for me, once I wore my disguise, I was hidden, well protected and nobody knew who I was excluding the party however I still had my killer instincts about me, you had to become the perfect murderer. I keep my personality different from when I'm the hunter to when I'm just plain old me. When I'm a killer, it's any means necessary but when I'm my plain, normal self then I'm just an ordinary high school student like everybody else. I had my reasons for what I did, some may say I take things too far however I don't see things that way, I see things in perspective to the way they should be. Chelsea Broker was my next target unless somebody else got in my way first...

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Slide 1 of 9

MY BADASS GIRL cover

Savage Mafia Couple cover

Care to Command cover

Classified || 2 || ✔️ mature cover

The Good Bad Girl cover

His Perfect Wife Strikes Back cover

Tomorrow's Blues cover

Killing Is Thrilling (Completed) cover

MY BADASS GIRL

I was roughly brought into my room and dropped into my bed.I was burning with anger. "Where were you?", asked my mad dog husband."I'm out ",I said. "You were gone out for three weeks and I'm here freaking out and your saying I'm out ", he seethed. And I lost there my mind.I moved nearly close to him and whispered into his ear. "LISTEN MY DEAR HUSBAND MY WHEREABOUTS IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS AND YOUR JUST MY HUSBAND IN NAME AND DON'T YOU EVER DRAG ME AND QUESTION ME, GO AND QUESTION THE DAMN GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS THAT YOU HAVE!", I seethed and left that home . Keily is an undercover Agent,rocking on missions, a young talented beautiful lady, not ready for any sort of commitment, a hot tempered, a stubborn one,very protective over her loved ones got into an arranged marriage to an typical Buisness man. Aiden is your typical billionaire with perfect life, commited to his girlfriend forced into a arranged marriage by his Parent's to an most stubborn lady and a hot tempered one. Read for more!! #1in fakerelationship (25/08/2020) #1 in forcedmarriage (13/05/2021) #1 in loveaftermarriage (17/05/2021) #1 in agent (25/07/2021) #1 in youth(12/09/2021) Characters,places,story is fiction!! Published on 11 May 2020 Finished on 17 June 2020