Story cover for SILK WEB - SpiderBunny's song writing & poetry  by kawaiibeanbun
SILK WEB - SpiderBunny's song writing & poetry
  • WpView
    Reads 58
  • WpVote
    Votes 1
  • WpPart
    Parts 22
  • WpHistory
    Time 25m
  • WpView
    Reads 58
  • WpVote
    Votes 1
  • WpPart
    Parts 22
  • WpHistory
    Time 25m
Ongoing, First published Dec 17, 2023
Mature
I'm my own worst enemy, I can't escape the shame 
I'm so hard on myself, I don't practice what I preach 
My thoughts become my foe, and I can't find any relief 
I speak to myself worse than I speak to my enemies

I'm so consumed by my self-doubt, I can't see the light
I'm my own worst enemy, I need to put up a fight
I'm tired of living in fear, so I need to take a stand
And start speaking to myself like I speak to my friends

I'm so tired of this doubt, I'm ready to confront it 
To take back my life, I need to be honest 
The only way to freedom is to change the way I think 
I need to speak to myself, so I can break free from this prison

I'm so consumed by my self-doubt, I can't see the light
I'm my own worst enemy, I need to put up a fight
I'm tired of living in fear, so I need to take a stand
And start speaking to myself like I speak to my friends

It's time to take control, and throw away the chains 
I can't be held captive, anymore by my own pain
I must find the strength to start believing in me
And that starts by speaking to myself, the way I speak to my friends 

⚠️some of this may be depressing but it's my life and feelings. I hope it is relatable for others who ever felt this way, please read if you want a good cry we all do sometimes.⚠️
All Rights Reserved
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The leaving 11 years on on going stopped up dating for a awhile

2 parts Complete Mature

The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.