Sudden Awareness
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- Parts 1
Ongoing6m
Last published Mon, Sep 28, 2015
Arlo Mason. My name was Arlo Mason. It was 1991 when I had just turned 17. Thats when the disaster happened. I went missing four days before it happened. I was once like them. Had my own life. Contained my own feelings. Lived apart of the world like anyone else. I was the youngest of three. My brothers had moved into college so as usual my mom was in tears. I'd do anything to receive her attention. Even my father. I never spoke except for once in my life. Jess. The Only person who's ever heard my voice. I could hear the voices around me,but my words never wanted to leave my lips. Sometimes I heard voices from other people, at least I think they were people.The voices came to me only when I was in the woods really. But I mean, I could hear my own words, which was good. As I did spent a vast majority of my time in the woods, I heard a lot of that was being planned or disgusted among others, but I never saw them once. All of the fears I had in my dreams were coming to life. Now here I am. Suddenly aware of who I am to this world.
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Haunted by the mantra "I'm nobody," I echoed these words in my mind, feeling as though my entire existence revolved around catering to the happiness of others. Despite having friends, a constant undercurrent of self-doubt lingered, as if I were an anchor holding them back. In the shadow of my brother Adam's fame with the renowned band Three Days Grace, I was the family's black sheep, an outcast in our town. My academic prowess and hardworking nature seemed to count for naught, dismissed by my father as failure. Even my past relationship revealed a cruel truth - I was a mere experiment for my ex-boyfriend's infidelity. While my brother Adam basked in the heroics of our town, I felt cast aside, deemed a potential threat to other teens and shunned like a contagious disease. Despite my pleas for help falling on deaf ears for years, my existence seemed insignificant, unnoticed. The reflection in the mirror, one last look before I just contemplated ending it all, reflected a soul weary of pleasing others at the cost of my own emotions. With black lipstick, I scrawled a poignant question on the mirror: "Are you happy?" In the final, desperate act, as I pushed myself to the brink, a rush of relief mingled with the pain. Yet, as I succumbed to the darkness, a familiar voice called my name, disrupting the silence. Awakening to a hospital room, my feet tied to the bed, a blond-haired, blue-eyed figure lay by my side, a silent sentinel. Even in my darkest moment, he defied my wishes, standing vigil over the remnants of a life I sought to escape. The tangled web of emotions unfolds as I grapple with the unexpected second chance, questioning whether the bonds of love and resilience can conquer the shadows that once consumed me.
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