Blaze Union and the Puddin' Head Schools
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Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Wed, Dec 27, 2023
The 2023 critically acclaimed young adult satire that is "gloriously absurd" (Kirkus Reviews).
Dear Courageous Reader,
I'm shocked to report that powerful knuckleheads have divided Island Nation, stoked extreme school rivalries between the Puddin' Heads and Sweeties, and created ludicrous school rules. Students are required to wear MegaCorp Frames and only read MegaCorp books (all other books have been banned). In class, students attempt to survive bootstraps, spoon helmet, dodge rod, duck yoga, and dynamite combat training. And get this: Students with large hands are not allowed to lead, play guitar, or play offense in soccer.
However, despite these obstacles and twenty-three school expulsions, fourteen-year-old Blaze Union has risen as the improbable hope for becoming the boss of the nation's schools, and challenging the supreme prime minister himself. Brave truth seeker, please read this story as quickly as your heart and mind can handle, and before it is too late.
Spoons up! Heigi hooga!
W.T. Kosmos
Paradox, USA, Earth, Milky Way
P. S.
Warning: This story may cause sudden laughing, crying, shouting, jumping up and down, or head butting.
All Rights Reserved
#283
teen-humor
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Nolan, an unapproachable guy who ignores the existence of all his schoolmates, sleeps in all of his classes. Normally, this wouldn't be Chelsea Arnold's problem-she does her best to pay attention in class and attends gym like a good, normal student. Unfortunately, she just so happens to be his assigned desk partner in many classes. She's frequently forced to wake him in English class and ends up earning the unofficial title of Nolan's Wake-up Alarm-a title that nobody in the entire school covets. The last thing she wants is to interact with him more than she absolutely has to. One day, their gym teacher sends her to bring him back to class, which he always skips for some reason. When she accidentally shines her flashlight in his sleeping face, it triggers a chain of events that gradually intertwines their lives together. It's hard to be a normal student when you start befriending the school oddball. It doesn't help that he has more secrets than the Big Ben has stairs. ----- Complete. (first person, past tense, slowburn) ----- 1st place in Humor Category of Psychological Novel Reads Contest 2020 (29 Sep 2020) ----- Started: April 28, 2020 Completed: July 23, 2021 Word Count: 160K+ ----- The sequel, The Tortoise and His Sunrise, is up on my profile now!
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