Scars (One Direction fanfic 1st in Scars series; after Lillianne's Letters)
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- Parts 28
Complete Tue, Jun 25, 20133h 58m
Prologue
September 13, 2012
Dear Niall,
Happy Birthday! Today's actually been an okay day. I'm proud of you Niall, I really am. I'm hopelessly in love with you. I haven't stopped loving you; just trusting you. I'm tired of looking into the eyes of your posters. I want to see your eyes again. Feel your touch. Feel your lips against mine. To feel your fingers in my hair. I miss you so much, Ni. I want you back in my life. I want you to love me again. I wish I could see you one last time. In person. Just to get some closure. I hated you after you never answered my real letters. I wanted to never see you again. I wanted to slap you the next time I saw you. I was sad, and scared, alone. Haley helped but I mainly need you. I've grown closer to her since you left. I'm tired of hiding away. I want to have friends again. I miss you. I just want you and only you. But maybe that's my nerves talking. I just really wanna say that I'm proud of you. You've done good, Ni. I love you, Ni. I really do. I just wish I could trust you again. My last letter for a while. Maybe for forever.
Love,
Lillianne Collins
My last letter to him. Maybe that's my closure. I really hope it's the last time. I'm tired of heart break. This is the truth.
All Rights Reserved
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He left me, I cried for him everyday hoping this was all a joke and he'd come back, but no he left. I trained hard making sure that my bow and arrow skills stayed bright, fueling my work with anger. I have mastered everything and I refuse to forgive him, I hate him. My anger grows more everyday as my sadness dissapears. The argument that started it will also end it he doesn't love me and I refuse to be a fan of his. So if he does care he would come and find me only he doesnt care and never will. These are my thoughts, but not my wishes. I want him to care, but I don't want him to find out why. He can't save me from my thoughts they are mind after all. Noone can or will know because they will send me away. My thoughts they tell me to do unspeakeable things, but they disapear when he is around, they don't like him, they are afraid of him. That's why I try to stay a respectable distance from him. My thoughts are dark, but they don't control me, I control them, I can get them to stop in fact I already have, they only fuel up when I'm angry or upset. "Why can't you tell me?" He yelled. "Because if I do then you'll leave me!" I yelled back. That is right he will leave and make sure they take you away. I covered my ears the voices they were back. "Shut up." I dropped to my knees. He ran to me. "What is wrong?" I looked at him as the voices stopped and hugged him. This was my guardian and it all started the day he came back, Came back for me.
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