Those nights!

Nights,
Your worst fear.You lie awake,
You can't sleep. Your mind?
It's as awake as can be.Nighttime,
That's when your demons awaken.
They pick and prod,They tell you lies,
After awhile you believe them.
Now the are engrained,
No one can tell you any different.
Nights,You fear,
The flashbacks,Nightmares,
And the fact that you never dream anymore.
Your mind is to awake to sleep.
You start asking,
The "what ifs"
What if the school finds out?
What if my parents do?
What if things get worse?
What will he do to me tomorrow?
What will they say?
How will I hide my cuts tomorrow?
Can I afford one more fake smile?
Am I loved?
Does anyone care?
Will people notice if I die?
Your mind says no.
You argue,
You: "What about my friends?"
Your mind: "What friends"
You say " not tonight"
Your mind says"yes tonight is the night"
You start to say something,
But instead just say "okay I'll do it"
You are dead.You are gone.
You are never coming back.
You are free of pain,
But caused other more.